Deadpool: A Deadpool-Worthy Honest Review/Summary (With A Lot Of GIFs)

Deadpool: A Deadpool-Worthy Honest Review/Summary (With A Lot Of GIFs)

Just an honest review of the new behemoth of a film, Deadpool.

I am legally obligated to tell you there is going to be some graphic content and spoilers, and the words "fuck," "Shit," "Shake Weight," and "Douchebag" are used in this article. You have legally been warned, or whatever.

Okay, well the time is here. "Deadpool" has hit theaters and broken records worldwide, which it absolutely deserves. The movie is filmed with action, comedy, lots of gore and tons of just plain awesomeness. I'm not here to tell you about all of the nitty gritty things that film critics get into, though, I'm here to tell you the straight up truth about the Merc with a Mouth's feature film.

Now let's get to making the chimichangas.

Right off the bat, "Deadpool" gives viewers a gut ache by showing nods to star Ryan Reynolds' past career as the Green Lantern and even features his "Sexiest Man Alive" cover from when he was on the cover of People magazine. The opening credits also do not feature the usual names of actors and crew, but rather things like "Some Douchebag's Film," "A Moody Teen," and "God's Perfect Idiot." This immediately set the movie apart from all other superhero films.

After the opening credits roll, and we get a fair dose of comedy and violence, the camera focuses on the mundane experience of the merc himself riding in a cab, but gives us acute jokes to pass the time. Directly after Pool gets out and pays the driver with a "crisp high five," we are given a head-jerking-seat-grabbing-heart-pounding action sequence that is simply unparalleled with other big Hollywood films out right now. During said sequence, there are great one liners that allows the action to blend seamlessly with the trademark Deadpool comedy.

Great, so we have established how I feel about the first few minutes in the film (I loved them.) Fast forward a few minutes, and we are given a flashback of before Ryan Reynolds had to "squeeze his ass into red Spandex."

(Yes, there is a GIF for that.)

So, right, back to the flashback. This is where the creators of the movie took a page out of the comic book, because Wade Wilson (Deadpool [Ryan Reynolds]) goes into some random douchebag's house and orders a pizza to his address, just to threaten the pizza guy. If you are an avid fan of the comics, you will know exactly which reference I am talking about. After this playful banter including guns, pizza (with pineapple and olives), and bedazzled jeans, we get our first look at the mercenaries' hangout, and our first look at Wade's best friend, Weasel (T.J. Miller). We get an idea of the friendship between the two when Wade directly goes and asks for a blowjob multiple times, which we later find out was actually a specialty drink. The bar is so well planned and played out, and it truly feels like the run down hell hole that it is. Which is great, no sarcasm intended.

Soon, it is revealed to us that Weasel bet against Wade in the dead pool, which is where mercenaries bet on the deaths of other mercenaries to make money to buy new mercenary toys. Wade soon meets his love interest, and there is a wonderful montage of tasteful sexual encounters that correspond with holidays. Family friendly, kids! Soon after that, Wade meets a dark and brooding man who offers him a chance to save his life. (What does he need saving from? That is for you to find out. I won't spoil that.) He kind of sounded like an infomercial.

Wade takes the deal, and we know where that goes.

Wade gets the treatment, which ultimately helps him and unlocks his mutant gene, which is an incredible healing factor, making him immortal. But wait! There's a catch. He becomes super ugly in the process.

This is super fine tuned as an origin story, and offers us a fair amount of buildup to when we get America's favorite asshole. The scenes that take up the transformation are extremely serious but also gives us a dose of Pool's famous one-liners without being distracting. Well done un-named douchebag who directed this, well done.

Now, let's jump back to the future.

Soon after, we meet Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead, two X-Men that come to either stop or recruit Deadpool. Which doesn't go well.

... in either case. These scenes in particular blend the violent, serious, plot building, and humorous nature of the movie. At one point, I was actually in tears from laughing so hard at an action sequence, Just a plain action sequence. It was great.

After a montage of comedy and violence that makes up the bulk of the movie, Deadpool faces his nemesis, Ajax (or Francis), who had turned him into an avocado. This is when we truly learn how much of a badass Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Possibly the coolest superhero name ever, by the way.) really is. After she finishes her tweet, that is.

So, after this wicked, epic fight sequence, that takes place on a helicarrier (so cool, right?), Deadpool ultimately wins the day and saves the girl.

Overall, I would say the movie was incredible. There were some parts that were lacking (Francis, for example, seemed a little flat for a villain), but not enough to ruin the movie.

Absolutely phenomenal, 15/10, great, bonkers, over the top, perfect. Go see this movie (Which at this point is just so you can see that large chunk that I decided to leave out...). Go!

Cover Image Credit: Fox Movies

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To the guy that shot my brother...


To the guy that shot my brother,

On January 9, 2019 my families entire life changed with one phone call. The phone call that my little brother had been shot in the face, no other details. We didn't need any other details. The woman on the phone who called us in full panic told us where he was so we went, as soon as possible. I don't think it helped that not even 10 min prior I talked to Zach on the phone.. kind of irritated with him, and the ONE TIME I didn't say 'I love you' as we hung up. Could've been the last time we ever spoke.. I remember pulling up to the hospital thinking 'this can't be real' 'it's not our Zach' 'this is just a dream Sarah, WAKE UP' I'd close my eyes really tight just to open them, I was still in the hospital emergency parking lot. I could still hear the ambulance sirens coming. It was all real.

The day our life's changed was definitely a test of faith. A test of how strong we were, as a family. I sat in that waiting room ready to see the damage that has been done to my sweet baby brother. Because at that point we had no idea how lucky he got. That glimpse of seeing Zach will haunt me forever. How helpless I felt in that exact moment frequently wakes me up from these horrific dreams I've been having ever since that day. That is a moment burned into my me and families brain forever.

You always hear about these things in the movies or on the news, a house being shot up, someone shooting another innocent person, not to care if they died on your watch. But we found ourselves on the news.. We have been confined to the hospital since that day. Running on barely any sleep, taking shifts of sleep so we don't make ourselves sick taking care of Zach. Watching him suffer. Undergoing surgeries, to repair the damage you did.

Before I proceed let me tell you a little something about the man you shot.

Zachary Keith Wright. A blonde hair blue eyed boy. Who could potentially be the most annoying human on the planet (possibly coming from his sister). A man who loves his God first, loves his family second. Perfect by no means, but almost perfect to me. A 19 year old who was to graduate high school this month. After graduation he was prepping to leave for Marine boot camp in the summer.. being in the military has been Zach's dream since he could talk. Literally. Running around, playing war with underwear on our heads, and finger guns. Some would say we looked like natural born assassins.. growing up he has been a country boy. Let me tell ya country to the core. He loves this country like he loves his family. He believes in helping people, taking charge in what's right, and never leaving a brother behind. He's lived by that his whole life. Until now....

The day you shot him. The day not only did you change my brothers life, you changed his families life too. The day you almost ripped my brother out of this world... for what? A misunderstanding? Because you've let something take ahold of your life that you can't let go you're willing to kill someone innocent over? Luckily for him, his guardian angels were protecting him in your time of cowardice. There were 3 times that day he should've died, the time you shot him, the time you tried to shoot him again as he stared you directly in the face, (even tho he couldn't talk I know you could read his eyes, and he still intimidated you. That's why you tried to pull the trigger again) and the time he was running out of the house. But he lived. A man who was shot in the face, didn't lay there helpless, didn't scream in agony. That MAN walked to the neighbors to get help. Why? Because he's a MAN, and because he's on this earth for a reason.

It's gonna sound a little strange not only to you, but the audience who is reading this. I must say thank you. Even in this situation, this was the best outcome we could get. He gets to live. He will make a full recovery. He will graduate. And he will go off into the Marines. You united my family together. Closer than ever. Thank you. You tested our faith and brought us closer to our God. Thank you. Because of your moment of weakness, you showed us what prayer could do. Heal anything. Thank you. This was a bump in the road, and a helluva way to kick off our year of 2019. But here we are.. all laying in the hospital. I'm looking around as mom is sleeping in her recliner chair exhasted but still here, Zach his awake playing his xbox all hooked up to machines, fighting to heal and get better. And of course I'm writing this letter to you.

See you in trial,

From the girl whose brother you shot.

'Fight the good fight' - 1 Tim 6:12 🤟🏼💙

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