As prospective students eagerly await their final last months before entering the realm of college, and parents yearn for their seniors to graduate, everyone still has still yet to answer the age old question: what do college students do all day?
Rise and shine! Good morning beautiful! It's a wonderful day to be alive!
Said legitimately not a single person on a college campus today. Today is going to be as ratchet as your hair. Get out of bed and go be a real human being you poor excuse of intelligent life.
Have to make sure those eyebrows are on point before you go to class. It's imperative that eyebrows. on. fleek. Once you successfully groom yourself, you realize you've got time to take a pre-class nap.
Once you actually attend lecture you'll find yourself more confused about the subject than if you hadn't gone. Your mind won't be focused on how media affects American foreign policy, but rather why your Instagram post hasn't gotten more than 25 likes. Prepare to start contemplating your impending graduation and unemployment because anything is better than this class.
Just know that all your problems can be fixed with a good meal. Preferably sushi dates with friends.
As you sit in your last lecture of the day, know that this terrible tragedy is almost over. You're almost out of this sweat box known as a lecture hall. The only thing standing between you and your night is 17 more lecture slides on the bio-diversity of moss.
Once you finish lecture, it's time to celebrate with a well deserved nap. Sure, you may have dozed off in class but this is where the real slumber happens.
Did you know that everything is fixed with a nap because sleep is scientifically proven to be good for you! ??! The information you use to support this hypothesis is vague, but naps are essential and you're not going to miss one. Your nap will continue to be amazing.
You finally look at your notebook - ready to take on the strenuous task of studying for an exam in a class that you took as an easy elective and now regret immensely. You study habits are incorrigible. You a warrior, known for your academic prowess.
LOL PSYCH NETFLIX IT IS. You've got some Game of Thrones to re-watch.
The thought running through your head? " Oh my god I have never been so excited to shower. This water is literally like a cascade of angel tears for my weary soul". Shower hour is really the best point of your day.
Once you're ready to take on the rest of your evening, it's time to down some liquid courage and get ready to shake off all the cares of the day.
Why isn't this working??
At this point in your evening, you realize that going to dive bars on a Tuesday night is no longer going to be socially acceptable come graduation. Disgust takes over and you realize that you may or may not have given your number to a "really mature looking" freshman.
....
Good morning. Here's to another terrible day.
