Anxiety: "Generalized anxiety disorder is characterized by persistent, excessive, and unrealistic worry about everyday things." - adaa.org
A life with anxiety is much more than battling with an above average amount of stress, for me, it is an overwhelming amount of second guessing, uncontrollable simultaneous and sporadic thoughts and an exhausting feeling of separation from things that truly matter.
To offer a better understanding of mental health and anxiety, I will present situations and show how I would respond versus a generally un-anxiety ridden response.
Going Out
Friend: "Hey, lets go out tonight!"
General Response: "Sure! I'd love to!"
Me: "So where exactly is out? I have to be honest... It seems like it's going to be fun but if you can't present me with an exact itinerary I may have to pass. (Inside my head: "Idk if I want to go... what if we end up drinking and I have to leave my car somewhere and it gets stolen... then I will have no way to get to classes and I won't graduate and I will end up flunking out of school... then I'm going to be homeless because my mom wouldn't tolerate a drop out... and then my life is over, so I probably shouldn't go.)
Grocery Shopping
"I'm so excited to try out this new fresh cilantro rice recipe that I have been waiting to try for weeks now. I just need to go pick up some cilantro from the store."
Grocery Store: "Sorry we just ran out of fresh cilantro we only have dried."
General Response: "Okay, I'll just get the dried cilantro."
Me: "Are you serious? Do you understand how important it is that I make this recipe the way it's written? The difference between fresh and dried is obviously significant if they didn't say you could substitute it. I've completely loss my appetite now and probably won't eat for an entire day now because this is what I prepared for and now my entire week's schedule has to adapt to this major change. Thanks, thanks a lot (Inside my head: "Why do I even try. Obviously the world is not working in my favor today. Most likely, now, because of this nothing else this week is going to happen the way I expected it to. I should just hibernate now.)
Presented With Options
"Do you want Chinese or Italian food?"
General Response: "Ummm, I'm feeling like Italian tonight!"
Me: "I can't do this right now... I'm too hungry for such decisions, whatever you want! (Inside my head: "I really wanted Chinese, what if they get Italian and then I'm not going to be satisfied and I'm going to end up still be hungry because I'm not going to enjoy my food!)
Driving
"Traffic"
General Response: "Gosh this sucks"
Me: (Internal Explosion)
Watching Children
"Kid almost falls"
General Response: "Oh my! Are you okay? You have to be more careful alright?"
Me: "Oh my! Are you okay? You have to be more careful alright?" (Inside my head: "Oh my gosh! They came so close to the corner of the table! What if they would have fallen and hit their head and cracked their skull and died. This is too much, why are baby humans so fragile this cannot possibly be a healthy amount of stress. I think I'm going to have a heart attack now, is this what dying feels like?")
Living
Every day, all at once, life presents situations that people without anxiety seem to be perfectly bearable. For people with anxiety, they're more than that. It's so hard at times to deal with any types of conflict or general displeasure because an unpleasant thought is a thought that cycles the thoughts of an anxiety ridden person for years. It's not about no being able to deal it's just that we deal with everything seemingly at once and then it becomes unbearable. So the next time someone tells you that they suffer from anxiety do not just pass it off as them being "dramatic" it's a condition that, at times, can be severely debilitating.
