As a little girl, I grew up with the nickname "Snow White," given to me by many of my family members. While, granted, there are many worse nicknames to grow up with, it was a constant reminder of my extremely fair complexion. Like everything in this world, living day by day with lily white skin has always had its benefits and its downfalls. Here's a day in the life of a girl living with porcelain skin.
1. No, I am not anemic. Yes, this is actually the color of my skin.
2. "But it's so pretty! You look just like a china doll." Some days you just want to be Malibu Barbie, you know?
3. "You're one of the people I know who actually looks good with fair skin." Thank you?
4. It's nearly impossible to find bronzer that doesn't make you look like you have a spray tanner coming out of your shower nozzle.
5. You will never, ever know the pleasures of wearing yellow, beige, or several shades of ivory.
6. You cannot leave the house on a day above 75 degrees without sunscreen. Ever.
7. The skin comparison game is AWESOME, especially with a bunch of tan friends who love making an Oreo with their arms and yours in the middle.
8. The same goes for pictures. "You make me look so tan!" That's totally what I was going for!
9. When you exercise, you come out of the gym looking like you just got burned with the intensity of 1,000 suns.
10. The distress when the porcelain shade is no longer carried in the makeup you use, because apparently makeup companies don't know that your skin color exists.
11. SPF 190.
12. The horror on your face when you a see a friend that uses SPF 4.
13. No one will ever ask you where you went on vacation after break simply because no one can tell that you left your house.
14. You get absurdly excited for a minute after seeing that you actually have the slightest hint of a tan line, and then extremely depressed when you realize the other part of your skin is what you look like normally.
15. You're in an intimate relationship with your hat and sunglasses, because sunglass tan is not a thing for you.
16. Sun poisoning is a normal occurrence.
17. No flash photography.
18. We will never understand how putting on 130 layers of SPF 80 sunscreen still leads to a sunburn.
19. Never ask the question "Why didn't you use enough sunscreen?" to a sunburnt fair-skinned person. See above, we hate you.
20. The amazing feeling when you actually got a natural looking fake tan. We're bronzed beauties, you peasants.
21. "Are you feeling okay?" when we're not wearing any makeup is the same as asking, "Are you still even alive?"
22. No, we have no idea how we got that massive bruise.
23. There's no such thing as hiding emotion. Blushing is a blessing and a curse.
24. You forgot what your legs and arms looked like all winter because they basically just blended in with the snow.
25. A designated window of time throughout your day is dedicated to being naked and waiting for your self tanner to dry.
26. You have too much respect for your skin to ever put it under the harsh light of a tanning bed.
27. You can't wear all black a lot without looking like a Myspace member from your youth.
28. You're allergic to the sun.
29. When dying your hair dark, you walk a fine line between hot/mysterious, and gothic/hate the world.
30. When dying your hair blonde, you walk a fine line between fun/summery and bald, because no one can tell when your skin ends and hair begins.
But, my beautiful vampiresses, embrace your beautiful light complexion. You can rock red lipstick better than anyone, and no one can ever dull your shine.
