I am a very clumsy person. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. I trip, slip, slide, gracefully run into fish tanks and so much more just in my daily life. So, for all of the klutzes out there, here is what an average day looks like for someone (like me) who is lacking in grace.
9 a.m. Wake up. I'm not a functional morning person, so this means making sure I don't fall out of the bed by trying to locate the step stool (my bed is lofted and I'm pretty short) and clambering out of bed. The main injuries that can occur during this moment are:
1. I miss the stool entirely and suffer a mini heart attack as I fall and then somehow manage to find and kick the step stool in my descent.
2. I make it to the step stool, but when I step off ,I trip and stub my toe on a poorly positioned desk chair.
3. I actually survive getting out of bed, and then have to move to the next challenge.
This morning, I happened to experience option number two (again).
9:05 a.m. Shower. In an attempt to wake up, I take my showers in the morning – sometimes, this works; other times, I'm so unaware I shampoo twice; it's a toss up. The main injury that occurs during this stage is sneezing and then cutting myself with a razor. (This doesn't happen too often; it usually occurs when my allergies are in full swing.)
10 a.m. Getting ready for class, eating breakfast and blow drying my hair, so it doesn't freeze. The biggest hazard in this stage is dropping a bowl of cereal or kicking something in the middle of my motivational music and dance montage that I get ready to. Once I'm ready, the next challenge is eight flights of stairs and beyond that, a college campus.
10:45 a.m. Go to class. While on the way, I slip on ice at least twice, trip just for the heck of it and try to avoid major injury while walking to class.
11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Class. The basic injuries a student can acquire in class are:
1. Banging your knee on the top of the desk as you cross your legs.
2. Accidentally hitting yourself with a writing utensil because you're fidgeting and manage to whack your hand.
3:30 - 5 p.m. Do nothing and hope for the best.
5 - 6:15 p.m. Go to dinner, a late class or a meeting. While doing this, I will find a root or rock to trip on because nature is not a klutz's friend. At dinner, one hazard I face is spilling someone's drink as I gesture animatedly.
7 p.m. - 2 a.m. Be an RA. This job is relatively safe. There aren't too many ways one could get hurt, right? Wrong. I found an open window in the laundry room, except this window is very high up, so in order to reach, I had to jump on top of a washing machine. In the process of doing this, I banged my knee, my shin and my hip. So, my leg is going to be a ginormous bruise. Or, when I'm crafting, I can give people who truly know me heart palpitations as they don't trust me around scissors.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
