When I think about having a best friend, I think about that person who is the closest to you. I think of that someone who you love spending time with and who knows you as equally well as you know them. They're the person you call first when you're sad, upset, or excited. They're your secret keeper and vice versa.
For me, I've never had just one "best friend" and I think that a lot of people are the same. I have my close group of girls who I can tell anything to and know that they'll still love me. I know that we can always have fun and can laugh until we cry at almost anything.
However, I've never really thought of having a boyfriend as a best friend. I've always heard that you either date your best friend or that your boyfriend becomes your best friend. I've personally struggled with this lately this year. To be honest, I never wanted to be that person that spends all their time with their significant other. I'd frown upon the other couples that seemed joined at the hip, never really realizing that I was doing the same thing. I'd convince myself that we weren't like the others. We had our own separate lives as independent people. Yeah, right.
Moving off campus has shown me who I choose to spend my time with. It highlights intentionality. It reveals who I really care about and vice versa. When I think about who I want to spend my time with, at least 50% of the time I usually choose my significant other.
Is there anything wrong with this? For a long time I thought that there was. I'd read other Odyssey articles professing why they were best friends with their boyfriend and why that was OK. I'd use them to convince myself that it was OK too, that I wasn't doing anything wrong.
And I wasn't. Who else decides my life but me? If I'm satisfied with where I'm at in life, then why did I feel almost guilty?
I was looking in the wrong places for affirmation. In fact, the problem was when I started looking for it in the first place.
I'm realizing that the life I lead is my own. I'm discovering that I was comparing myself to the wrong people. Every relationship is going to look different. Some dating people don't mind going a few days without seeing each other. Other couples like to see each other every day. It's all a matter of preference and how you each work.
I will admit, I like being able to see my boyfriend every day. I like to spend my free time with him and sometimes it feels like its never enough. However, I don't feel like I neglect my girlfriends either. It's all a balance. It's a matter of what do I feel like doing and who with. Who needs me at this time?
So, don't ever feel like you need to justify your life decisions to those who aren't paying attention or who could care less. What matters is if you're happy. Each relationship is different and neither is right nor wrong.
