Dating in and of itself is difficult so how in the world do you navigate the mysterious world of dating when you're also juggling mental health issues? If you've decided you're OK enough to date, fear not, dating is 100% possible! Here are a few tips and tricks I've picked up along the way on how to make the process a little less stressful for you and your significant other (S.O.).
Communication
Communication is something that everyone should do but it becomes even more significant when mental health issues are in the mix. If you are dating someone and things start to get serious, it's a good idea to let them in and tell them things you struggle with that might affect the relationship. For instance, if you struggle with anxiety and have constant thoughts that your partner is going to leave you, it's a great idea to communicate those thoughts so your partner will know what's going on if you fly off the handle one day. This doesn't give you an excuse to just forget all of your coping skills and go full panic mode all the time but it does open the door for compromise. Perhaps, knowing that you get anxious, your partner could make a point of giving you a healthy amount of reassurances and doing little check-ins every once in a while to see how you both feel about the relationship. Everyone brings baggage into a relationship; it's better to air the dirty laundry early so you can both work to clean it rather than let it sit and stink up the relationship in the future.
Plan ahead
It's not fun to think about your bad days but when you have someone else in your life, it's better for both of you if you plan for them. For instance, if you have depression and you don't let your S.O. know that you isolate when you get depressed, your S.O. might get anxious thinking they are to blame or worry they upset you somehow or, if they know a little about your depression, wonder if you're OK and if you need them. It is 100% valid to take time for yourself and ask for space when you aren't feeling great; your S.O. should not make you feel bad about needing that time; however, If you know you do certain behaviors that can hurt your partner when you fall into a rough patch, PLEASE be responsible and plan ahead so no one gets hurt more than they need to. Your feelings are valid but... so are theirs.
Accept yourself
It's easy to get all caught up in the bad things you can bring into a relationship but please remember, NO ONE is perfect. EVERYONE is going to bring something difficult into a relationship. If someone doesn't want to take the time to be the kind of partner you need, they aren't the one for you. As Post Malone tweeted, "I'm kinda glad I'm so difficult to deal with and understand because then I know when someone stays around, they truly fucking want to."
