Dating Is Not 'Dating' Anymore

Dating is not dating anymore. Maybe I am old-fashioned, but in all honesty, we do not date anymore as a society.

We have all become so focused on how quick someone texts us back, how many times they like our photos and statuses, or if they favorite our tweets. You see we have become so focused on the "fake" and "public" actions of someone rather than the personal and sincere actions of the person. Do not get me wrong, the things above do matter, but in reality, if we focus on the true self of the person we are interested in, everything else will fall into place.

Now, I personally believe we need to go back to pursuing a person and their heart instead of chasing lust and desire. We no longer take the time to pursue anything. In our world, we have become so used to everything being given to us right away, and it, in turn, has affected our dating relationships.

In today's world, dating is more like "hanging out." We get caught up into the wordiness of "talking," flirting, dating, or being in a relationship. I mean, what even is "talking" in the first place? Is that getting to know someone as a friend and seeing if you like what you see and hear? I mean quite frankly, it puts both people in an odd position because you are in a limbo position. Are we just friends or more? Do they like me, or do I even like them?

Dating used to be something that was clear and had set standards. You actually took the time to pursue someone, but intentions were always made clear. People used to know what was expected of them from the start. Now, we have to decipher text messages and read into the "tone" of someone's voice, and use of emoji. When in all actuality if we all made our intentions clear and genuinely pursued someone, none of this would happen.

There is a difference between a chase and being pursued — a big difference. Chasing someone is simply flirting with them, leading them on without any intention of truly wanting them. Pursuing is genuinely making your intentions clear, and acting on those intentions. Taking the time to care for someone and their opinions and values.

We have begun to settle for the "I'm here" or the "I am outside" text message. Someone should take the time to come up to your door and introduce themselves. Dating is not some game to play. It is not the mind game of waiting for someone else to "text first" or call first. It is not the fact that someone has to text you back immediately or post you as their WCW or MCM. Think about it — if these are the things that we are beginning to base our level of connection with someone on, then what are we going to use to measure when we feel they are lying or when we want to get to know their hopes, dreams, and plans?

Let's start genuinely dating again. Fully and truly falling for someone else. Pursuing and no more chasing. Dating needs to become a real true thing, once again. Because quite honestly in today's world, we are going about it all wrong.