When I came to college my freshman year, there were a ton of things that I was excited about: college parties, playing on the field hockey team, making new friends, and college guys. The town where I'm from is small, having a little under 9,000 people in it. For school, I basically went to school with almost the same people from kindergarten to 12th grade. In other words, I was ready to meet new people. I think that because I am also a hopeless romantic, I thought that I would be going on cute dates and finding my future husband in college, so I was ready to get going. Freshman year was great because you would literally meet someone new every day; it kept life interesting and exciting. Sophomore year is fun because you kind of know what you're doing, but you're still getting to know people and your way around. Junior year is still a ton of fun, but at this point many people start to look for more serious relationships instead of random hookups.
Over my years here, I've meet a few guys that I thought could potentially turn into something more, but they never did. Nothing really lasted more than a few weeks, which at the time was fine with me. I didn't want to be "tied down" freshman and sophomore year and I just wanted to do my own thing, so it worked out well enough. The thing about trying to date in college is that people don't really go on dates anymore and relationships can be vague. I have said and heard many times, "Oh, we're just talking," and for a while that's completely fine. But, if you're "just talking" for a few months, what's the deal? Many times the only time you would see the person you're talking to in the back of the townhouses on a Saturday night or randomly while walking to class. Honestly, sometimes trying to date in college can suck sometimes.
It's a great feeling when you find out someone that you're interested in likes you back and wants to get to know you more. You get to talk more and spend time with each other and realize that you have many of the same interests, and it's an amazing feeling to know that someone gets you. A big thing in college is "hanging out," which can be fun — but how do you know if it's meant to be a date or if its really just hanging out or Netflix and chill? I think a lot of people say they're hanging out or whatever because they're afraid to put their feelings on the line with the possibility of getting rejected. Obviously, no one wants to get rejected because that sucks, but sometimes you have to put yourself out there to see what could happen. People sometimes will find excuses for not pursuing a relationship, whether it be because the timing is off or that you're not at the same points in life.
Everyone has their reasoning for not pursuing a relationship, but no matter how it's put, it hurts when you're on the other side of it. One day you think everything is going great with your person and you're loving life, then the next day you get the "can we talk" text. I've been on the receiving end of that text a few times, but it still sucks every time. Then you see them all the time in your dorm or walking to class and you try to think of what you could have done differently so that you were still with your person.
I know that this hasn't been the most positive post, but that's life. Not everything always works out the way you want it to. There will be days where you can't stop smiling and you're insanely happy and then there will be days where you just want to stay in bed and listen to sad music all day and think of what could have been with your person. Both are OK because it's normal and human to have feelings and to express them. Some of the best advice I have received is to stop looking for love and it will eventually come to you — sometimes in the most unexpected ways and that everything happens for a reason. So, in the mean time, the only thing you can do is enjoy being single and do everything you can to enjoy your life and everything that comes with it.
