It happens to the best of us, in a moment of weakness during a Phi Kappa Psi grab-a-date, you find yourself drawn to a handsome, hilarious and maybe a little raunchy individual. Maybe it’s the way he chugs his beer in 10 seconds without spilling any, like you’re prone to do. Maybe it’s the way he talks about his brothers as if he’s known them his whole life. Maybe it’s the way he looks in his newly embroidered American flag letters. Maybe it wasn’t any of those things, but let’s face it: you fell for a fraternity man, and now...
1. You suddenly have the same knowledge that all of the pledges do. The fraternity colors, how many founders there were, what year they were founded and where, and their famous fraternity slogan. You’d ace that pledge test, if you ever had the patience to actually take it.
2. You low-key don’t like the sororities his exes are in. Sorry not sorry. You’ll donate $5 to their philanthropy, though. For the children.
3. You only call his brothers by the nicknames they were given during pledging. Are you allowed to? Probably not. Even though Lemon Pledge is longer than their actual name.
4. You are always finding stuff to buy for him online. Does he really need flip flops, sunglasses, and a new backpack with his letters on them? Yes. Yes, he does.
5. You know all of the best, juicy gossip. Fraternity boyfriends don’t kiss other girls, but they sure do tell…so yes, you’ve probably heard about what a brother did last night, every single part in excruciating detail. And of course, you'll never tell.
6. You form your own sorority with the other frat girlfriends. It's not your fault that you all tell each other secrets when you get drunk at the house and your boyfriends are too busy playing beer pong. Sometimes you're closer to them than you are with your own sorority sisters.
7. You’ve already thought about how you’re going to ask him to formal. You don’t want to say that glitter, hot wings, and balloons won’t be involved, but they could be.
8. You get overly excited when their chapter meets milestones and wins awards. 2015 third place football champs four years in a row? Congratulations! Good work out there, boys!
9. You call his fraternity family by “Big,” “Little,” and “Gbig.” Okay, they’re not actually your Big, Little, or GBig, but they pretty much are. Although that could border on incestuous. Let’s not think about it too much.
10. You’ve started to actually like beer. Obviously vodka is still the first choice here, but you realized that it’s cheaper to drink the beer cans at the frat house than it is to go out and get a mixed drink. It may even be healthier. Who knows.
11. You walk into the frat house and your wifi automatically connects. Sometimes you’re there hours before the party and end up doing your homework, sending important emails, and sending snapchats.
12. You visit their fraternity house at another school. You wish your Greek Row was like theirs, or that you even had a Greek Row. #smallschoolproblems
13. You talk to anyone you see in public if they’re wearing his fraternity letters. Wait they’re a Phi Kappa Psi? Your boyfriend is a Phi Kappa Psi!! LIVE EVER DIE NEVER, BRO. (Also, props if he's a celebrity and you can make him do a hand sign. Famous frat boys are everything.)
14. You set up your sorority sisters on blind dates with his brothers. No date to formal? Don’t worry! It’s like their own personal version of the Bachelorette!
15. You know how to get into the frat house without a key. This is both helpful when sneaking both in and out of the frat house. Although, most of the time, the front door is unlocked anyway.
16. You get really defensive of your territory at the fraternity parties. Those girls are here? Who invited them? They only want to show up, drink all the alcohol, and leave. Ugh.
17. You’ve become a cooler painting expert. Sand, prime, paint, seal, booze, repeat. The best part? Making his other brothers jealous of your masterpiece.
18. You’ve been running a campaign for sweetheart, pledge mom, and unofficial house mom for months. They'll vote for you because you'll make them cookies for meeting, bring them booze when they run out, and because you love all of them. Also, America. Do it for America.
19. You hint that you want a Lavalier with his letters for the upcoming holiday. You hate wearing jewelry. Wait, there’s jewelry with his letters on it? And it's sparkly? YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT.
20. Even when you’re alumna from your sorority, you’re always coming back and visiting. You better still be invited to the next Spring formal. #sorrynotsorry
So, really, we're not that annoying. Our behavior is justified; our boyfriend is awesome, and his organization is awesome. But don't get me started on my sorority sisters.