Dating is all about compromise. Being conscious about the do’s and don’ts can help any relationship flourish.
DO
1. Be clear about your intentions
In a millennial relationship, be clear at the beginning about what you want so you don’t put yourself in the path of getting hurt. Be truthful about your desires. Ask yourself what you really want out of the relationship, and communicate that to your partner. Are you looking for a steady long-term relationship? A hookup? Someone to pass the time?
2. Show affection and keep the spark alive
Flirting is crucial in any relationship. It keeps the spark alive. Even the small things like telling your significant other you love them, or telling them they look damn fine or bragging about them. Kiss often. Have sex often. Flirt often.
3. Make time for each other
Spending time with each other is crucial. It shows the other person you are a priority to them and that they matter. It is easy to let all the other things in life take over and to get distracted easily, but the person in your life should be more important. Consciously set aside time to spend with the person who matters. Any amount of quality time spent is enough, whether it be a short 10-minute walk to class or a 2-hour conversation. Any time is quality time.
4. Make time for yourself
While spending time with your lover is good, you need some well deserved “me time” to relax, decompress, and spend time loving yourself. Spending time alone teaches you to appreciate the other person more, and helps you learn more about yourself outside of the relationship. Making time for yourself allows you to reconnect with your values. Make sure you have time to recharge and reset. If all of your time is spent with each other, you don’t have the time you need to rejuvenate.
5. Call each other out
Don’t let the things that irritate you go unsaid. It’s better to call your significant other out than to become more irritated or frustrated with their actions. Think of unspoken conflict as a weed that grows in your relationship. At first, the weed is growing slowly, but eventually, it will grow out of control to the point of no return.
While calling your partner out may be uncomfortable at first, the initial discomfort is so worth it because there isn’t going to be something undermining your relationship. DON’T BE AFRAID TO CALL YOUR PARTER OUT. In any relationship, no matter how perfect, there will always be conflict. If they are unable to take your criticism, they aren’t the right person for you.
DON’T
1. Compromise your values for the other person’s happiness
Every person grows up with a set of values that become their foundation. Each individual holds those values close to them and sees them as the “key to their happiness.” In some relationships, couples will begin to ignore their values and allow their partner to change those values. It is important to remember that many people have similar values to yours. It may not be ideal to wait for the right guy or girl to come around, but waiting for the right person instead of settling will make the relationship seem effortless and right.
2. Just because you love them doesn’t mean you should date them
This, in my opinion, is one of the most difficult aspects of a relationship to learn. As time passes, you learn to love the person you're dating more and more. Love is a strong feeling that can make us do crazy, unexplainable things, and just because you love someone doesn’t mean that they are the suitor for your ideal relationship. The ultimate goal is to find your second half, the missing piece to the puzzle…so don’t try to force a piece in that doesn’t fit perfectly.
3. Bring your partner up in EVERY DAMN CONVERSATION
People don’t care. Its annoying. Stop.
4. Do anything that makes you uncomfortable
Make sure that when you’re in a relationship, you’re not in a position where you are being pressured to do anything that will make you feel uncomfortable. If you find yourself in a relationship where this happens, don’t be afraid to bring it up with your partner. If the conversation goes poorly and gets heated, it may not be the right relationship for you.
5. Red flags
There are the obvious red flags such as fighting, arguing, abuse, and cheating. However, there are other serious red flags to keep an eye out for, like wandering eyes or lack of trust. If you notice any red flags or have the slightest hint of doubt about the other person, trust your gut and end the relationship. Your gut is never wrong.
Relationships are complicated, but with the right person, it can be effortless. If you know it’s not going to work out, it’s better to take a step back and remove yourself from the relationship than to prolong the inevitable.
