Dating: A Dad's Guide

Dating: A Dad's Guide

A Daddy's girl want to find a man like her father so taking advice from him may not be the worst idea in the world.

I remember being a little girl telling my mom in as serious of a voice as a three-year-old can have that "I'm going to steal Daddy from you one day." I was just like every other little girl who idolized their dad to such an extreme they wanted to marry him. There are some days where I wish I could be little me again, holding onto dad's hand and knowing with absolute certainty that he was never going to let me down. He is and always has been the one man that I can count on for anything and everything. But, I'm no longer that little girl who dreams of marrying her dad one day, now I look for a guy who reminds me of my dad. In order to find a good guy that dad will approve of, let alone be like him, I've realized taking advice from him actually may not be a bad idea. So, here are a few of the best pieces of advice dad has ever given me.

1. Realize What You Want And Set Set Standards Based On That

As my Dad says, "It's important to know who you are, what you believe in, and what you want. If you don't know what you want, it'll be pretty difficult finding someone who has similar values as you. By setting a standard for what you will and won't do and the type of person you'd be willing to get to know, you're saving yourself a lot of heartache and precious time."

2. Stay True To Who You Are, You'll Attract The Right Person Eventually

"People change who they are to fit in with what's cool, but that probably isn't who they are so they'll never be happy. If you want to be happy, then don't change who you are, stick to your guns and be patient. Eventually, when you're not looking or expecting it, you'll realize that the person you want is right in front of you and probably seen the real you."

3. Never Be Afraid To Be Yourself

"Everyone who knows you knows that you love tractors and peanut butter. There will be people who think collecting tractors or tractor pulling is ridiculous but it's important to you (and myself). The right person for you won't look at you and wonder, 'is she crazy?' even though they know that you have a lot of weird quirks.

8. Always Be Open To Try New Things

"You're an only child so you're used to doing whatever you want but life can't always be like that. You have to be willing to try things that are important to other people like hunting because who knows, you might just end up liking it. Plus, it's a way to bond and create memories. Put yourself out there and be young but, do not be young and dumb."

My dad is the man who loved me first and will always hold a place in my heart (or most it actually). He has always been my father but in recent years, he's become a friend. Without the guidance he's given me in recent years, his strong shoulder to lean on, or hand to hold, I'd be lost in this crazy world or hook-ups and almost dating. Thanks to my dad, I know that it's okay to be who I am because eventually, I'll find what I'm looking for: someone who can be my best friend and laugh with me about anything and everything that life throws our way.

Cover Image Credit: Alexandria Gourley

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To The Guy Who Treated Me Like Crap

In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

Dear (insert guy's name here),

I’m sorry that I acted as your footstool for so long. You treated me terribly, and for some reason, I couldn’t see that. I only saw you as someone who liked me and wanted to be with me (at least, that’s what I thought). I was like a little puppy dog following you around, completely loving and loyal. I was always waiting for you to text me, posting Snapchat stories for the sole purpose of knowing you would see them and always hoping you would come around when I was out with my friends so I could show you off.

No matter how hard I wanted us to work out, I now realize it never would have.

You weren’t right for me because you treated me like I was your inferior. You were always talking to other girls, flirting with them, and treating me like a child. You were so selfish. Only doing what you wanted and coming around when you felt like it and taking advantage of me. You made me feel crazy when I got mad at you for all the little things. I was so caught up in you that I tried to ignore all of the signals right in front of me.

You just weren’t right for me.

I now know that the right guy for me is the one who respects me and chooses me over everyone else. The guy who never makes me feel insane for questioning something, the guy who understands when he’s done something wrong and can live with the consequences. You just simply couldn’t provide that for me. In many ways, I feel bad that you could never see how amazing I am.

While I may have been so upset when our relationship ended, it made me realize who I am and what I deserve. I deserve so much more than someone putting in 50 percent. I deserve an endless amount of respect and communication. Putting in your all for a relationship when they can’t do the same is not healthy and it’s childish. I hope someday you can find a girl that you can love infinitely but I take a lot of pride in knowing that girl won’t be me. I may be single for a really long time or I may find the one tomorrow, either way, I have so much hope that one day someone can give me their all and make me feel incredible.

For now, I’m done wasting my time on guys like you who make me feel miserable.

The One Who Got Away

Cover Image Credit: Trinity Kubassek

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Thanks To The Jonas Brothers, I Never Regret Not Dating A Teenage Boy

Ya'll made it drama free.


All thanks to three guys from New Jersey, I never regret not having a boyfriend in Middle or High School. I started listening to the Jonas Brothers when I was in 6th grade. I was awkward, I wanted to fit in simply because I was the minority in my mostly white school district. I also wanted to feel more independent since I was reaching the ripe age of 13.

Eventually, certain things came to me where I was able to gain that independence. I had no problem talking to certain adults simply because I would just be myself, and they would have absolutely no issue with it. Then came Nick, Kevin, and Joe. They already had one album out called 'It's About Time', and too contrary belief became a classic for them to date. Eventually, as they made their approach to the Disney Channel, their popularity increased more and more. Soon enough, everyone knew of them. Even if they didn't even listen to their music, they still knew about them.

I was what you called the stereotypical 'fangirl.' I was overly protective of them whenever I would hear any guy in school call them 'gay' 'ugly' or 'untalented'. In fact, I'm very thankful that social media was not as big yet. I could not imagine going off as much as I would imagine. But there were other ways to vent. I still had some of my friends relate, but even with that, a good portion of them would tell me to stop being obsessed with them. But that only allowed my obsession to grow.

Everything that they did was a news update for me. I had to keep up with them ALL the time, no matter what the condition was. I had to know what they were doing every single day. Okay, not to a point of stalking but you get the picture. My point is that no other boy mattered at the time other than them. Joe was my favorite one so I had to keep up with him the most. Especially when he was dating someone. Yes, I will admit that some of Joe's exes were not my favorite, yet I shipped the hell out of the other ones. But I will say now that as a grown woman I am no longer interfering with his relationship. I was always wondering what it would be like to even go on a date around that age.

I never went on one considering how weird teenage boys truly are. Some of them want a girlfriend simply just to have one, and others just had their hormones go all nuts. The reason why I wasn't heavy on dating during that time was simply that I was trying to focus on myself and who I truly was. I did not want to deal with any of the drama that came with a relationship because I had a lot more than I needed to worry about.

Yes, did I want a guy that I thought was hot to date me of course! But it turns out looking back on it, I'm grateful that I decided to not give him the time of day. Considering that nowadays he's not exactly the right person to be with anyway. Even in general, I'm glad I never had to worry about fighting with another girl about another guy. A total complete waste of time, and not worth sacrificing anything.

I realized that there was so much more to life than just having a guy like you. Even if you did get those weird feelings every time he was around. Also if it was the other way around where a guy liked you, and you just didn't like him back. What a complicated web the teenage years hold. But back to the Jo-Bros. I'm grateful that these guys were in my life because it distracted me from the realities of how teenage boys truly are. You know, the ones that don't sing to you and tell you-you're beautiful every five seconds.

I'm grateful for all the memories that I had with these guys, especially making endless books and PowerPoint presentations on why I loved them so much. Although I'll still keep up with them once in a blue moon, it doesn't mean that I'll forget my first love. Just because I'm not in a room where they've plastered all over the walls anymore, doesn't mean that I didn't cherish those times when I would beg my mom to get me the latest teen magazine. If they were not in it, I didn't want it! Plain and simple everyone remembers their first teen crush. But I'm grateful that these three brothers allowed me to not get distracted by the teen dating scene. Also, I think it helped out my father as well.

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