I Know Asking Someone To Respect My Boundaries Doesn't Make Me The Villain, But I Still Felt Like One
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Relationships

I Know Asking Someone To Respect My Boundaries Doesn't Make Me The Villain, But I Still Felt Like One

I felt like a villain, but I was just protecting myself.

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woman with hand up
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

At points in your life, people aren't going to agree with you. Or will not like you at all. This is my story today, and today I'm the villain of the story.

Something I've never been good at is confrontation. I'm weak when it comes to stuff like this. And naturally, there was a guy who was incredibly sweet and respected most of my boundaries.

He was in my dorm because no matter how many times I wanted to tell him I didn't want him to come over - I felt bad. For good reason, apparently, because he wanted to kiss me. Now, no matter how many times he asked, I said no. And no matter how many times he tried, I said no.

This was never anything against him - it was a personal thing. I don't want to kiss people out of a relationship - plenty of people have called me crazy for it, but it's my choice, not theirs'. No matter how any times he tried to kiss me, I shut him down. At one point, though, I turned my head too slow and he didn't miss.

I was upset because he had pushed himself on me even though I said no, and I ended up regretting letting him come anywhere near me.

So I blocked him, but every time I thought about how mean it was that I did that, I unblocked him. My friend told me that I didn't deserve being treated like that nor being sent pictures like that. I don't often block people, and this guy was so sweet. Every time I thought about it, I regretted it.

And a few days later, I did it again. Even turned to another friend to ask his opinion. After explaining the situation, he told me to block him. Three people vs. my thoughts. I don't want to be a bad person, but my friends told me it's for the best, so I had to do it. I trust their opinions, and I know myself well enough to see if what they're saying is good or not.

I may seem heartless right now, and I certainly feel it. It may seem like I didn't even think twice about it, but the truth is, I can't stop thinking about it. I don't like doing this because he seemed like such a sweet person. Is this my fault? It feels like it. Everyone says it's not. I felt awful about it; I didn't know if it was a good idea or if I was doing this completely wrong. Is he such a bad person? No. I'm the villain here. I'm hurting him because I can't make up my mind. I'm not like this, I hate hurting people, and yet that's exactly what I'm doing.

But my friends said they're proud of me, despite me being ashamed. And if the guys agree that it was the right way to go, then maybe it's okay. I hope he's okay, but I guess it's alright for me to do this to protect myself.

"When you blocked him... you stood up for yourself. Which is the right thing to do when it comes to impulsive inquiries and constant non-listening when you told him no. You're no villain here," said one of my friends.

It's hard to learn that people, while important, shouldn't be what make or break me. I am who I am - flawed. I make mistakes, but I also have value.

If I hurt someone, I have to learn the hard way how to fix that, and how to make sure I don't do that again. I become a better person that way.

Just because I am the way I am, doesn't mean that when I hurt someone I can say, "That's just who I am, you have to deal with it. If you can't accept that, you're not my friend." Well, first, that's manipulative, and second, you don't change if you don't accept that you did something wrong!

I change daily, and so does my mood. Something I love the minor changes in me that only my closest friends notice.

So perhaps I'm not the villain... we're all the main character in our own story, and PERHAPS the villain in someone else's but that doesn't mean that we can't change our actions for the better.

In the end, that means:

I'm not the villain, and neither are you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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