Dating, As Told By Tina Belcher

No one has a better understanding of love and relationships better than Tina Belcher: a master of seduction at only 13 years of age. Her charm, confidence and finesse in social interaction really seem to grab the attention of her male counterparts.

The first step is finally deciding you're ready to start looking for a relationship. You look great, you feel great, you're ready.

You've been single for a while, so you give yourself a pep talk to make sure you accomplish what you came here to do.

You're back in the game! With a newfound sense of confidence, you set your sights on your new target and muster up the courage to do what you need to do.

Finally! You found the one you've been looking for. You have a great time, and dance the night away. The hand wants what the hand wants, you can't tell where his back ends and where his butt begins.

At the end of the night, he asks you for your phone number. After a crap attack, you finally give it to him. The next day, your heart poops its pants. He calls! You have no idea what to do, so you give yourself another pep talk. You can do this, Tina.

He asks to take you out on Saturday night. You are besides yourself, on the floor, dying. Get it together, Tina.

You're on your date. You pierce through his eyes with a strong gaze as you stare deep into his soul and say:

He doesn't seem to be catching your drift; the date totally didn't go as planned. You are devastated.

Your friends and family try their best to get you through this, but there's just something about him you can't let go of. Sometimes you wonder if you just weren't meant to have a good life.

Soon enough, you realize you don't need a boy to pay attention to you, you can pay attention to yourself.

But you always wonder, can there really be a whole island for kissing?

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