Wow. Someone had to talk about it right? I mean I have so many friends that got married young like I did and are in their mid-twenties now divorced. Yet nobody wants to really talk about it...Nobody wants to talk about how hard it is to get back out there after a divorce.
So here it is, the fun & dark truth of dating after divorce...
For starters, when you tell a guy or girl that you're divorced at 23 you get a ridiculous amount of questions thrown at you. It's fine, we're used to it but please don't treat it as a joke because for many of us those were years that we still struggle with.
Immediately after a divorce, you have your friends that are trying to hook you up with anything that talks. I'm not even being dramatic. And if you're anything like me after a divorce, you're emotionless. You're more comfortable with a hook up than anything serious.
Which sounds horrible but it's the truth...It's my truth.
I would choose something real over something casual any day but then you give me that and I run. I sabotage it when I realize this person has a chance to hurt me. Girls after a divorce are hands down the most confusing girls you will ever meet. We're damaged and many of us, including me, had to start over with nothing.
We ended up becoming our own best friends because we no longer trusted anyone. After months of tears and trying to figure out how to do life on our own, we became comfortable with it.
Divorced women are truly some of the strongest and most independent women I've ever met.
Many of us think we are ready to date and then we get back out there and remember why we sit in our apartments and drink wine while binging Netflix every single night. Alone. Dating after going through a divorce is seriously the worst experience ever.
At first, it's fun and new. You're on your first date, excited for something new but then someone across the bar says your ex's name and your heart sinks. Or you're making conversation and your date brings up that artist that you and your ex went to go see a couple of years ago. Then you sit there with a half-smile on your face with memories you just want to forget. But you're trying so hard to be present and give this a shot because he seems like a great guy... It's freaking hard.
Dating after a divorce is a mess. One day we feel like we are on top of the world and ready to take on a new adventure. Then a week later there's a flush of emotions, wishing you could turn off your brain.
I don't think you're ever truly ready to date again. But I do think getting out there and going on dates and being open to meeting new people will help you move forward. I spent months hardly on my phone and focusing on myself. But at some point, probably after the third time my dad tried to play matchmaker, I realized I needed to get back out there.
All we can do is try to be better than the person we were yesterday.
That truly goes for anyone. Divorced or married. Always put yourself first. You'll thank me later
