We all have a “type” of guy we find attractive. Maybe your “type” is a guy with a frat boy haircut, wearing a Ralph Lauren polo and Sperry Topsider shoes. Maybe he’s a burly man with a scruffy beard and driving a truck. Maybe he’s the nerdy guy with glasses, trapped in a book that he just can’t put down. He might be a bad boy with tattoos and piercings wearing a leather jacket and pants that are just a little too tight.

Perhaps he has to meet certain criteria for you to be interested in him. For instance, he has to like the same music as you. Or, maybe he has to meet a certain height requirement because heaven forbid he be shorter than you. Maybe you like your guy to be outgoing and know how to work a room whenever he walks into it.

Whether he meets all of your requirements, or only some of your requirements, we all have a “type.” Whenever you meet someone and things just don’t click, you blame it on the fact that he’s just not your “type.”

But if we limit ourselves to the people who only meet these requirements, we’re cutting ourselves off from a whole realm of possible matches.

In a world of Tinder, we seem to judge based on profiles alone. We see someone and automatically pass a judgement and place them in the “not my type” bin. Swipe left.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m guilty of all of these things. But several years ago, I dated someone who wouldn’t normally fit into my “type.” He was much shorter than me, and if I was at a party, I would never look across the room and think “damn, I want to take him home.” But he was nice to me, and we had the same interests. I found him attractive in a way that wasn’t based solely on the surface. It was much deeper than that. We dated for 2 and a half years, and it was one of the best relationships I’ve ever had.

After we broke up, I only dated people who fit my “type” qualifications. These guys checked all of my boxes on my list of qualifications. They were perfect on paper and were so attractive to me. I didn’t want to have to settle for someone who didn’t look like the perfect guy who I imagined in my head.

However, I was slapped in the face with the reality that my “type” is filled with a bunch of assholes. I might not have been settling based on their looks, but I was definitely settling based on how they treated me. Sooner or later, I found myself dealing with heartbreak after heartbreak, and blaming myself for all of the damage that had been done.

Now, I’m finding myself stepping outside of my comfort zone again. I’m interested in someone who isn’t as passionate about the music that I love. He’s someone who in a past life, I might have passed up simply for the reason that he isn’t my “type.” He’s not cut from the same cloth that all of my past love interests were made from. This is someone so different, and it’s good.

Step outside of your “type.” Date someone that’s a little too shy. Date someone who has different views than you. Be with someone who will challenge you, and open you up to new experiences.

The reality is that the guy who isn’t my “type,” took me on the most perfect date of my life. He opened my doors for me and greeted me with flowers. He made me a priority for 5 hours and never checked his phone once. I might not have ever been able to know what that was like if I didn’t broaden my horizons and go for someone who isn’t just like me.

I’m not saying that you should only date people who you’re visibly attracted to. I’m also not saying that you should date someone you’re not attracted to at all. I’m simply saying that if you look past the surface, you’d be surprised as to what you could open yourself up to.