With philanthropy season and warm weather coming up, you know what that means … DARTY SEASON.
For all you uncultured plebeians that don't know what a darty is: it usually contains live music, lots of food, and sun, all tied together with happiness. It's a day party; you do the math.
Just like fall and winter, darty season is legitimate. It begins on that first random weekend during March where the Charlottesville winter weather decides to take a mini vacation (probably to Tech) and let the spring vibes shine through for a few hours. The Wahoos exit their stage of hibernation and emerge from the depths of Clemons and Alderman stacks in their full-on preppy, basic, pastel, spring colors.
It always 5:00 somewhere, so it's never too early to pregame. On a sunny Saturday, pretty much any time is drinking time, so make the most of it. Mimosas, anyone?
That being said, pounding shots at 11 a.m. will result in a very short darty day as you will crash and burn relatively quickly. As I've seen people learn the hard way, it's a marathon, not a sprint. You've got like absurd amounts of hours until bars close at 2 a.m. so take yo' time, treat yo'self, you know the drill.
Always roll up in style with sundresses and friends and smiles and swag. Fashionably late, but not late enough to miss the prime of the party — it's a careful science.
On a similar note, friends + dress + boots = cute Instagram with sunshine emoji and punny caption. This usually results in a multitude of likes — you're welcome.
While there is usually not much that is classy about a darty, it is definitely not the time to make out with [cute boy you just met] on the “dance floor" — especially because said dance floor is really just the middle of the yard. It's sunny and, ya know, DAYTIME, so everyone can see you. Expect regrettable pictures to be posted to your Groupme, Facebook, beta bridge, Time Square billboards, etc. momentarily.
As the evening rolls around and the darty dies out, you have two options on how to get yourself to rally for the nighttime shenanigans coming your way. If you're really struggling, you can take a nap. However, you must have the nearly nonhumanistic ability to will yourself out of bed. It's a dangerous thing to let yourself fall into the trap of your fuzzy snuggie. It is also possible to wake up a few hours later with an undesirable hangover (and being hungover at 9 p.m. is one of the more confusing things to feel).
So if you're a champ and can manage it, the best solution is to rally straight through the night and continue to get your drank on. Beat that 9 p.m. hangover by not letting it set in. You can deal with it in the morning, just like any other weekend. Blast some music and jam with friends, by yourself, with your pet fish, whatever … it's better than letting yourself get that sleepiness that's impossible to shake.
The moral of the story is, in the words of my big, “Always rally, never die." Respect this motto, and you too shall be successful and survive the best season of the year that is darty season.
