Dare To Fail, It's The First Step Toward Success

Dare To Fail, It's The First Step Toward Success

Success becomes habit when you realize your worth.
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Are there ever those days where one thing goes wrong and suddenly the rug is pulled from under you? You miss out on opportunities, fight with people, get those overwhelming “I can’t do this anymore” or “I need a jumpstart into something new.” Those are the days which don’t make out failures but rather our triumphs. It is the failure which makes the success so much more worth the effort.

A little girl was crying because she couldn’t find her mom at a library event I was photographing. She was running frantically running trying to find her, avoiding contact with anyone who wasn’t here, and I could genuinely see the fear in her eyes because to her that was such a terrifying experience. I went up to her and calmed her down, letting her take a couple pictures on my camera, and suddenly was back to her original happy state.

A few minutes later, her mom walked back into the room and she didn’t move. I asked her if she wanted to go see her and she said in just a minute, I want to be sad a little longer. Yes. She said I want to be sad a little longer. I asked her why on earth she wanted to be sad. She told me something which I think may be the mindset that so many kids of this generation have. She said, “If I am not sad for long enough, I won’t know how to be happy anymore”

A sweet little 4-year-old girl answered an epidemic which has influenced so many children of the generation.

My parents always raised me to be optimistic, and at most times that is what I try to be, but in reality, I am a realist.

I look at every situation and think about how it will influence my future. It is a blessing and a curse, but I am notorious for finding reasons to complain, especially when I don’t get things my way. It is so easy to complain, to be mad, to be sad, to just find reasons to see the negative and feast on it. People would rather go to dinner parties and gossip about the failures of themselves and others than sit and commemorate their attempt.

I even noticed growing up in class that the most successful students were almost always the ones who kept to themselves, yes, they had friends, but you would never see them bragging or infatuating themselves with compliments.

It is actually sad that this society frowns upon accomplishments. If you get arrested for drugs, you’re on the front page of the paper and everyone will know in a matter of hours, you will get the pity, “I feel so sorry smiles in the halls” and you will be instantly labeled for that one action. If you receive national awards, work hard as a student, try your hardest to stay out of trouble, there is going to be nothing said about you. How does it make sense to rip someone of their status and focus on their flaws rather than their achievements?

It is so heartbreaking watching someone fall apart because of one mistake which will carry them for the rest of their lives. The reality is that will be their peak, and they will either rise from the ashes and succeed beyond their own belief, or they will crumble and fall to the voices in their head telling them they are finished. Which will you do?

Teen depression has become a fashion statement where every other person claims to be traumatized. Yes, it is understandable in many situations, and depression is a REAL-world issue, but some claim to have it to publicize it and receive pity rather than trying to overcome it. I wouldn’t be shocked by the number of students who play their cards right and get out of tests claiming they are too overwhelmed.

As much as it sucks to be an adult, it is inevitable, so why would you waste some of the best parts of your life trying to be upset. Yes, I say trying because people crave the negative and upsetting points of life to build up this façade that they know how terrible the world is in this day and age, so the only solution is to drag everyone around you down.

I know, it sounds demining and ridiculous, but it is a coping method because so many adults don’t know how to deal with stress so how do we expect children and young adults to? A crisis for a teenager used to embody a fight with a boyfriend/girlfriend, wanting to lose weight, wanting to bulk up in the gym, even a chipped nail could ruin your day. Today the wages turn to taking your own life? Overdosing on prescription medication just to feel happy? Holding a gun in a school and trembling at the touch of the trigger?

How did we go from a world of innovation and endless opportunities to a civilization of fear and discomfort where our biggest enemy is ourselves? It is a sick joke in my mind, but it is a reality to those who think there is no way out. No one to confide in, no one who understands, no one who can help. You think if I can push one button or take one more pill, the pain will evaporate, and you will be free from this monster you feel resting on your shoulders.

It is by no means easy, but it is absolutely possible. There is someone who loves you, someone who thinks of you, and someone who relates to you. There are endless possibilities to those who seek to achieve it. I have seen people my age go from their peak of perfection and crumble to addiction and self-abuse. There is no word but heart-break which I can think to explain it and to think it is because of the most minuscule reason which ends up being their entire world at that point of time.

No matter how tough we want to appear to the naked eye, we are all skin and bones, we all have emotions, we all breathe the same air, we all walk on the same Earth, and we all get sad from time to time. That is no reason to give up on what can be, just to get your head out of what is currently going on. The mind is the trickiest part of our mechanics, and when you’d correctly, it is the most powerful tool we have. So instead of dwelling on every negative moment in life, notice that everyone has a path and there is no reason to demise yourself for not being perfect, because failure is the first step toward success.

Cover Image Credit: Tish Cama

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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