Dante's 7 Levels Of Adulthood

Dante's 7 Levels Of Adulthood

Of course, adults are miserable.

Being a legal adult is fantastic – you’re finally allowed an input in our crumbling government and people begin to care about and respect your input into conversations. On the other hand, adulthood is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you and it should be avoided at all cost.

It creeps up on you without you ever being aware, and the first thing that you must leave behind in your childhood days is your phone anxiety. Your mom will cease to make your doctors appointments and slowly, very slowly, will force you to make them yourself. How am I supposed to talk to the scary front desk lady, mom? I don’t know whether our insurance has changed.

This is apparently another part of being an adult. You’re forced to start learning about health insurance and pre-approval statements for credit cards, whatever that is. The last time we heard the words “interest rate” was in business class in high school and suddenly it’s actually applicable to our student loans? Wizardry, I tell you.

Not to mention that there are actually loans to pay. Credit card bills? Interest from unsubsidized loans? We’d almost forgotten how many made up words adults had for all their many sufferings until suddenly, they very clearly applied to our lives.

Work also applies to us. Mom and Dad aren’t the only ones with a job anymore, suddenly everyone in the household comes home exhausted from work at the end of the day. Your job takes up about half of your conversations nowadays. Your managers are ungrateful and your coworkers are crazy and you’re not paid enough to put up with all the shit you put up with. Gone are the days of endlessly free time; suddenly every spare hour that’s not devoted to school is spent at a dead-end job.

Of course, this dead-end job will soon lead to conversations over coffee with people you don't really want to talk to but have to talk to because that's what networking is. Of course, adults are completely and utterly miserable; nothing's better than forced social interaction with someone you have no interest in talking to beyond their capability to offer you a connection that will hopefully pay you more than your already miserable employer does.

Cover Image Credit: Kaique Rocha / Pexels

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I Am Embarrassed To Be A Millennial

In light of the Tide Pod challenge, I feel like I should be honest about my generation.

I wanted to write an article shaming the people from my generation who are eating Tide Pods, but that has been done. So, I wrote this instead.

People hate Millennials for a variety of reasons. We are “lazy, entitled brats”, or so the older generations say. I am a Millennial. I was born in 1993. I may be an older Millennial, but I am a Millennial none the less. And, if I am being honest, I am embarrassed to be a Millennial, and not because of what older generations say about my generation, but because of those who make the older generations think we are, in fact, “lazy, entitled brats”. I’m not like the other people in my generation, so, please, don’t assume that I am anything like my generation simply because I was born in the 90s.

I have never been like other people my age. I have always surrounded myself with adults, because I never clicked or connected with people my own age. I’m terrible with children – always have been, even when I was one. My generation does things differently. I am old fashioned. I want to go on real dates and talk on the phone – not text "f*ckboys" I meet on Tinder. I like having a landline in my home. I know what a landline is! I have the common sense to not eat a piece of plastic filled with laundry detergent. I believe in hard work, determination, getting to places on time – or even early. I know that things don’t come free – money, love, respect. If you want something, anything, you need to earn it. I struggled to get a job. I applied and applied, and I finally got a part time job, and I have been there five years. So many of my co-workers over the last five years have been let go, because they were young people who thought that they could come in late and not do their fair share of the work and still get paid. Sadly, this isn’t all of my generation. A lot of the people I know in my generation are like me, but the few that are afraid to talk on the phone and spend their free time eating Tide Pods and stalking Kylie Jenner are the ones in the limelight. They are the ones the media zones in on, and they are the ones that make me look bad, and while I hate that, maybe it is a good thing? Maybe it is good to know that I look bad at the expense of the bad Millennials. At least I know that I am not making the bad ones look good when they did nothing to deserve it.

There are a lot of really great things about Millennials. Studies show we are nicer and more accepting than older generations. We believe in equal rights between races and genders, and we are strongly for gay marriage. We are lovers and not haters. We practice safer sex more than other generations. On average, Millennials have less sexual partners than other generations (eight per lifetime as apposed to 10 for Gen X and 11 for Boomers), and start having sex at older ages than older generations. And, despite what people say, Millennials are not job-hoppers. People who are ages 22 to 29 today are less likely to leave their job than their older co-workers, and those who do leave are leaving for better paying jobs. So, while you Gen-Xers and Boomers sit there are complain about my generation, know two things: 1. Millennials are kicking more ass than you ever could imagine and 2. The morons of my generation are ruining it for people like me – a hard working millennial who is quite honestly embarrassed to call herself a Millennial despite all their good qualities. So, a heartfelt thank you to you Tide Pod eating morons that are giving my generation a bad name. You should feel so much shame.

Cover Image Credit: https://pixabay.com/en/friends-girls-cell-phone-selfie-409403/

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The 7 Types of Temple University Students In The Winter

From the brave Owl in the short shorts to the students who've never seen an inch of snow.

No one likes going to class from December to February. Walking in the freezing cold just to not understand what's going on in that one required class doesn't seem worth it. Tons of money from our wallets are going towards these courses, and you shouldn't lose points for being absent (even though we're paying for it... that's for another day).

Walking from your off-campus apartment to Anderson and Gladfelter or trekking from Morgan to Annenberg may seem like hell. Scratch that; it is hell. Sadly, you gotta do what you gotta do. On your way to class you'll definitely come across these seven types of Temple students.

1. The Layered Student

Everyone knows that one person who walks in late to class with 14 layers on. They take 10 minutes to take everything off, and at first it's annoying as hell but then it gets plain old hilarious. No matter what temperature it is outside, from -5 degrees to 40 degrees, you'll find these Owls all bundled up.

2. The Athlete

Temple athletes confuse all of us. Not only do some get full-rides and other bonuses when other deserving students should (sorry to put them on blast). Instead, they wear the same Under Armor clothes every damn day. In the middle of January, they're still walking around campus with those gray sweats, maroon quarter zips, and half-full gallon jugs of water.

3. The Brave

Ever seen that one kid on campus walking around in a t-shirt and shorts? What's that about? Sure, maybe 25 percent of those people are going to or from the gym. The others, though, I'm not so sure. Did they wake up late? Did they not do laundry? Are they super human? So many questions and literally no answers.

4. The International Student

You hear the smooth purr of a car behind you by the SAC. You turn around, crisp air hits you in the face, and you roll your eyes. It's a 2018 Mercedes-Benz GLC Coupe. Who's driving it? It's an international student with all Gucci everything, a Louis Vuitton backpack in the front seat, and three friends clad in Balenziaga in the back. Are you jealous? Hell yes. Can you move from the cold? No way.

5. The Suit & Tie Student

Whether it be those pesky Fox students that always have presentations or that one dude that always wears that plaid suit, suit and ties scatter around campus. Now's not the time to look good, Derek. Just wear two pairs of sweats, fluffy socks, and a winter coat to your marketing presentation like the rest of us.

6. The Hermit

You will never see a Temple hermit. They never leave the warmth of their six-person apartment on 17th and Berks. Going to class is too much for them. Going outside is too much for them. Moving around is too much for them. You get my point. Have fun seeing this person after the groundhog doesn't get scared from its shadow.

7. The Never-Seen-Snow Student

Temple's known for having students from all over the U.S. and the globe. This means that some students are Californian, Floridian, or Puerto Rican residents. They have never seen the snow. And even after their first freak out at 3:00 AM with the first snowflake falling, they'll never get over it. Look out for students with smiles on their faces when it's under 32 degrees. (They don't know how horrible it can get).

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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