Being a legal adult is fantastic – you’re finally allowed an input in our crumbling government and people begin to care about and respect your input into conversations. On the other hand, adulthood is the worst thing that’s ever happened to you and it should be avoided at all cost.
It creeps up on you without you ever being aware, and the first thing that you must leave behind in your childhood days is your phone anxiety. Your mom will cease to make your doctors appointments and slowly, very slowly, will force you to make them yourself. How am I supposed to talk to the scary front desk lady, mom? I don’t know whether our insurance has changed.
This is apparently another part of being an adult. You’re forced to start learning about health insurance and pre-approval statements for credit cards, whatever that is. The last time we heard the words “interest rate” was in business class in high school and suddenly it’s actually applicable to our student loans? Wizardry, I tell you.
Not to mention that there are actually loans to pay. Credit card bills? Interest from unsubsidized loans? We’d almost forgotten how many made up words adults had for all their many sufferings until suddenly, they very clearly applied to our lives.
Work also applies to us. Mom and Dad aren’t the only ones with a job anymore, suddenly everyone in the household comes home exhausted from work at the end of the day. Your job takes up about half of your conversations nowadays. Your managers are ungrateful and your coworkers are crazy and you’re not paid enough to put up with all the shit you put up with. Gone are the days of endlessly free time; suddenly every spare hour that’s not devoted to school is spent at a dead-end job.
Of course, this dead-end job will soon lead to conversations over coffee with people you don't really want to talk to but have to talk to because that's what networking is. Of course, adults are completely and utterly miserable; nothing's better than forced social interaction with someone you have no interest in talking to beyond their capability to offer you a connection that will hopefully pay you more than your already miserable employer does.