I was weightless and numb-elated in the air for the entirety of my time with you.
You became my everything so easily. I've become so accustomed to your beauty that without you, I became lost. I pushed you away even though I loved dancing with you. You led me sometimes, but then I began to lead. A while later, our teacher told us that I was not meant to lead. It was meant to be you.
And so I stepped back, waiting for you to step forward and to begin once more. You didn't.
You disappeared. I'm not certain where you went. Perhaps I was blindfolded. I waited so long for you. It was finally time for the curtain to fall. And so I left. I thought you would follow me off-stage and into the darkness as my partner. It was not so.
I let you go, despite my love for dancing with you.
When you spun me, all I could see were your eyes. At that moment in time, they were beautifully copper as the world faded away. You drew me in close. I lost my breath as you let me go and caught me before I hit the floor. Our teacher cheered us on, even though he knew that the prospect of dancing together forever would not last.
I let go with the expectation that your love for dancing with me would keep you by my side. I was wrong.
We both fell. We hit the floor. I couldn't even check if you were okay or not. I made sure that I could stand up and then looked to check for you. I couldn't see in the darkness.
"Teacher, please, give us light! I can't find him!" I screamed.
I found you, but you refused to speak with me. You got up and left with the intention of never dancing with me again. I never said that I didn't want to dance with you. I asked you to take the lead. Please, oh please, come back to me and continue to dance. Take the lead like our teacher asked.
Take the lead and be with me. I stepped away, but that never meant rejection.
It was a question. Will you help me? Will you lead me? Your answer was in your leaving I suppose. That doesn't mean I will forget your eyes, your smile, or your dance.
I will always remember our partnership. I regret stepping away, but it was your choice to go.
Now I'm paralyzed and numb, but I love you.
Wherever you are, I love you. Thank you for dancing with me, even if it was for a short amount of time.
If you're reading this, know that this piece is dedicated to you. I still love you, gorgeous. I always have and I always will.
This story is about a guy that I once attempted to date. We were basically best friends and during quarantine, he asked me out. I always initiated conversations, text messages, and calls; he was a free spirit and he loved to travel. The only way for me to talk to him was to take initiative, and I did.
He never believed that he was worthy of my love. He never believed that I genuinely liked him.
I was tired of initiated conversations and told him that. He didn't really react. Five months later, I told him that if I wasn't someone he wanted to be with, that I would take myself out of the equation.
If he wanted me to stay, he needed to take the lead and decide to be with me.
I never got a reply. I called him many times. He never picked up. It's time for me to move on, but it's so hard when I still love him. I always will love him and I live with the regret of telling him that I didn't want to lead.
For my own mental health and sanity, it's time for me to let go.
I dedicate this to him and all those going through something similar. I know that there are those who just relate or can feel this in general.
I believe in you.