As a student suddenly jumped in her seat during a 3hr dance performance, she began to turn her previous confusion as to why someone would purposefully stretch their diverse physiques into unnatural positions, to a startling realization about the physical arts. Maybe, just maybe, she ventured, the sometimes frantic and other times slow, but always random movements on stage, might not actually be devoid of any meaning. Maybe the meaning was to enforce an admiration so intense upon the audience that they would have no choice but to look up in reverence at the astonishing feats a human body could self-inflict.

If anything, she continued, these lengthy displays of continuous, strenuous exertions of sweat and having the apparent nonexistent fear of reaching one’s maximum stamina, only proves one thing.

With this newfound idea, she immediately rose out of her seat.

Afterward, the audience members around her seem to have remembered hearing a faint ‘whoosh’ sound and the flutter of program itinerary papers slowly floating in the air as the student seemed to have transported out of the theater, so fast was her exit.

The friends who came with the undergraduate in question later reported,

“Um, we just came here because this one,” here one of the friends gestured to the other, “had to write a paper on the performance… I don’t know where she was in such a hurry to go to, it’s not like she had any academic investment in the dance anyway.”

The next day, the usual traffic of weary students and professors walked through the campus. However, in the midst of this bustling morning, people stopped in their tracks noticing a very haggard looking student shakily and chaotically entangling limbs every which way.

When prompted to speak, the student looked through uncombed, askew hair and exclaimed,

“Lowly humans have no business speaking directly to me, I am a god in training. Bow down and worship me as your future leader!”

Several years later, the same reporters gave a visit to the local insane asylum and found the same student still furiously raving about the symbiotic relationships between gods and dancing.

“Don’t you see?” the undergraduate persisted, “everything I witnessed in that dance performance was just the physical embodiment of what was happening in my mind! The various colors spotlighting the stage represented my eyes, the frantic, hurried actions of the dancers illustrated how brilliant my brain is by sparking synapses left and right, the silent audience, the awed spectators who can do naught but watch my genius unfold indefinitely…”

Later, according to testimony, it was stated that the interviewer looked at the student straight in the eye and asked “if they would like a ladder next to their horse of which was increasingly gaining in height. If not, then please at least consider standing in line like the rest of us, on the way to a totally mundane life.” Pause, and then, an additional statement was added along the terms of, “not everything that happens around you is about you, deal with it.”

(note: numerous profanities were omitted from this discourse, and a more suitable set of polite words were substituted in for a more accurate telling of events).