I remember my first dance class. I was in fourth or fifth grade and my Girl Scout Troup had reserved a lesson at First City Dance Studio. I was beyond excited. I had always wanted to dance, but due to limited funds, my parents had never been able to afford the lessons since I was taking piano instead. As we started dancing, I felt very self-conscious of my lack of rhythm, but I still loved it. However, at the time, I was at an awkward stage of my life, one that lasted until college, so I let that self-consciousness get to me. I didn’t like dancing in front of other people, even though I loved dancing itself. I was afraid of what the dancers around me were thinking. Did they think that I was horrible? Because I did. I loved it, but I stopped because I was afraid of other people’s opinions.
At middle school dances, it was cooler to not dance that it was to actually dance, at least at my school. So the only time I would dance was in my room when I was alone and just goofing off. Then came high school, which was an entirely new experience, especially with dancing. I wouldn’t call it dancing, so much as I would call it a very strange mating ritual. It was awkward to watch people grinding their bodies together, and I didn’t really understand how that was dancing. I thought it was something else entirely. Thank goodness I only ever danced with my friends and not a guy. When I danced with my friends it was always in a circle, and I always felt like other people were watching me, and maybe even judging my dance moves. I was still uncomfortable, just slightly less so than middle school. Even though I was awkward in public, in my bedroom, I continued to dance.
After my freshman year of college, I transferred to UMM, which, like the transition from middle school to high school, was an entirely new experience compared to my first year of college. UMM is much more eclectic, in the best way, compared to my first college. Everyone was over-involved and involved in things that seemed like polar opposites. People at UMM were doing things that they had always wanted to do but had never done before in high school because there were different rules in high school. Everyone seemed to stick to their own clique in high school, but at UMM, people were in multiple cliques. I was amazed; I could do what I wanted to do and be whoever I wanted to be, and not feel like I was being judged for it. So when one of my friends asked me if I wanted to join Dance Ensemble, at first I said no out of instinct. However, the following year when I moved off-campus with that friend and a couple other friends, I decided to join.
My first semester in Dance Ensemble was a learning experience. I still was still self-conscious about my dancing, but it got better with every practice. When our first performance arrived, I was excited but so nervous. I thought that I was going to throw up, which, thankfully, didn’t happen. I fell in love with the adrenaline of performing, and letting the music move you. After two semesters of only dancing, I decided to push my boundaries even farther and choreograph with a friend, which has been an entirely different learning experience. I love listening to the music and picturing what dance move and formation would like best at that moment, and seeing it all come together is fantastic. I love dance, and it has given me so much. I am more confident, stronger, more flexible, and active, all because of dance. Thanks, UMM Dance Ensemble for letting people dance who thought they couldn’t or wouldn’t dance.
