Every day I find myself caught off guard by what is going on around me. I just look at people and think, what is going on here? You’ll probably even catch an eye roll. Here are just some thoughts that run through my head every day.
What is that witchcraft you have performed on your face?
Really though, how’d you get your makeup to look like that? I can barely make my eyeliner straight and you can just forget about the wing, so I’m not sure how you are contouring yourself an entire new face. Props to ya, but seriously, how are ya’ll doing that?How do 
Why do we care so much about celebrities?
We talk about everything they do, print magazines just for the sake of talking about their lives and there are shows dedicated to discussing them. How weird is that? I am almost positive they are just like the rest of us, but I still have questions. So first of all, don’t they think it is weird that everyone sits around and discusses their lives? Second, do you ever feel weird talking about the life choices of someone you have never met before? Third, the way I see it is, the whole world is basically a giant high school and the celebrities are the “popular kids.” (Wow, I have clearly thought about this a lot. I’m just gonna stop with this one.)
How did people start getting famous from the Internet?
Like you have zero talent, but you look good in your Insta pics, so you’re famous now! What is that? You did not do anything at all and you’re famous now. How? What? Why?
How did that go viral?
Every weird challenge, how? The one that gets me the most is that weird thing where they flip the water bottles and it says, “Haters will say it’s fake.” Why are we continuing to make that? Does anyone actually think that is funny or…?
Why am I still seeing those pictures that say, “dm an emoji for an honest opinion,” or, “fav this for a tbh.”
Why are you doing that? No one actually cares. You’re not putting your honest opinion of the person. What you are really doing is filling up my TL with a bunch of nonsense. Just stop yourself.
This one is extremely random, but why are you drinking energy drinks so much?
Especially, why do I see you giving your 9-year-old energy drinks? I can’t figure out anything else to say about this because I am just confused. Just, why?
Girls, stop tweeting pictures of a bunch of stuff that a guy buys for you and putting “goals.”
The purpose of a boyfriend is not to buy you stuff that you won’t buy for yourself. Try personal goals and buy your own stuff. Independence is a virtue. (You can quote me on that.)
Finally, why am I worried about any of this stuff?
Don’t I have anything better to do with my time? Apparently not…
