When my mom died, it was just my brother, dad, and me. Since my mom usually handled most of my feminine needs and hair issues, I assumed my dad would not know what to do.
I learned that when it came to getting what I needed, I needed to be blunt about what it is and explain to him why I needed it.
Imagine when it's time for my menstrual cycle to come along and I realize that I'm low on the essentials. At this time, my brother was the only one who could drive and I knew that my dad was going to send him the to grocery store sooner or later. I walk into the living room and stand a good 10 feet away from him as he's sitting back in the recliner.
"Dad I need something from the store."
"What?"
"I need some pads and tampons. My period is about to start."
When I tell you he did a double take, he looked at me and I could see the questions swarming his face. He sat up in the recliner and then told me that he was going to send my brother to the store. So I went with him and got the exact items I needed.
When my aunt came to the house one day and I knew I needed to stock up on my feminine products, I went into the living room and told my dad once again that I needed to go to the store to get more pads and tampons.
My aunt looked at me and said "You shouldn't tell him that. You're a lady. You should say you need some feminine products or feminine hygiene products!"
If I had told him that, then he really wouldn't have any clue as to what I was referencing. It was bad enough when I would start cramping, and I would lay across the couch in an "unladylike" manner. I would lay on my back with my face towards the back of the couch and one leg propped up. He fussed at me for laying that way, and when I told him why, he stopped fussing.
Letting my dad into that part of my life was one of the funniest moments. He got to learn that I needed certain items on a monthly basis and he also learned about birth control. I think he also learned the signs of when my period was coming — My aunt would say "she's mean as a black snake."
Then when it came to my hair. Oh lord the hair! I called upon Ashley, my brother's girlfriend, and she would help me with my hair. My aunt would take me to go get my hair done, and I would also get my hair braided.
I don't think he realized how expensive it was to be me. He had to buy extra products for my monthly flow. He would sometimes have to drop $45 to get a blowout. If I decided to have my hair braided, he would have to spend about $12 on braiding hair and $45 to $65 dollars to pay the person braiding my hair.
I don't know if he fully respected some of the things I dealt with by being born a girl, but he did learn what my mom already knew. He essentially became my a mom in a sense, but also pushed me towards my aunts and Ashley.
