First My Dad, Later My Friend
Start writing a post

First My Dad, Later My Friend

I love you, dad.

First My Dad, Later My Friend
Shaina Seltzer

Every morning my dad would get up at 4 am, make coffee and then go work on his computer until it was time for him to leave for, well, more work. He would leave the house around 8 in morning to beat traffic and would usually get home around 5:30/6pm.

No, my dad wasn’t “distant” and no I didn’t feel as if I were raised by a single mom. My dad simply worked--a lot. When he did get home from work, he would either be on the couch sleeping or doing more work in his office in the basement. For thirteen years this continued as my dad worked his tail off to provide a wonderful life for my family. We went on nice vacations, went out to dinner a few times a week, and would always get what were on our Hanukkah and birthday lists.

I knew my dad loved me, like as a daughter but that extraneous relationship that I had with my mom, the friendship, rather, just wasn’t there.

When my dad and I took a U-Haul to Florida from Maryland for a weekend in May before the actual move that would be at the end of June, I remember trying to show my dad that I wasn’t that sensitive and annoying kid anymore. Unfortunately, I spent a lot of that weekend writing a paper on The Civil War and watching episodes of How It’s Made.

Sure, it was a bonding experience but I still felt like my dad and I were just that: dad and daughter.

When we finally moved to Florida I remember bringing this up with my mom who told me I was crazy but it was enough for her to share this with my dad who admittedly said he spent a lot of time with my younger brother because they have a lot in common.

I guess I should preface this with the fact that I don’t play sports, nor am I athletic, and I don’t like cars or being outside for too long. My dad is the opposite.

That talk with my mom led to an outing with my dad. We went to Kohl’s and he bought me new clothes, which wasn’t the worst thing but it also wasn’t what I was looking for. However, that’s when my relationship with him changed.

As I continued to navigate through high school, my dad and I grew closer. We went out to lunch when I’d leave school early for dual enrollment and would crack jokes about how crappy life gets. We spent Friday night’s on the couch ordering our two favorites, pizza and ziti, and being so cynical to the point where my mom would let us wallow.

We ate a lot, and laughed a lot. Even my sense of humor started becoming more like my dad’s. I started being more invested into sports and began having in depth conversations about whom the Ravens should, or should not, release.

I knew that I had my dad in my corner and when I went to England and begged my parents to come home early because of my anxiety, my dad was the first person to agree. Luckily for me, this didn’t happen. Despite not going home early, my dad and I would Skype every day and exchange funny pictures throughout the day.

We even started an annual tradition of going back to Maryland to see one Ravens game a year.

Now that I’m older I have the ability to choose whom I spent my time with and even still, I rather hang out with my parents.

I feel beyond grateful to have such strong friendships with both my mom and dad. I can’t imagine how I would’ve gotten through life thus far without that extra mile they’ve invested into our relationship. A lot of stuff hasn’t gone my way in life and there are plenty of things and people to be upset over, but my relationship with my parents is something that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I feel secure in the wrongs of life in the blanket they’ve provided me all of these years.

I once read an article that said how parents shouldn’t befriend their children and how the point of parenting is to be an authority figure and not a friend.

If my parents abided by that I wouldn’t have the same foundation that I do now. They truly are the spirits of whom I hope to one day emulate with my very future children.

Thanks mom for being my best friend the last twenty-two years and thanks dad for being my best friend the last eight. I love you with all of my heart.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Kinder Self - Eyes

You're Your Own Best Friend

Kinder Self - Eyes

It's fun to see all of the selfies on social media, they are everywhere. I see pictures with pouty lips, duck lips and pucker lips. I see smokey eyes, huge fake lashes and nicely done nose jobs, boob jobs and butt lifts. Women working out in spandex, tiny tops and flip flops. I see tight abs and firm butts, manicured nails and toes, up dos and flowing hair. "Wow", I think to myself," I could apply tons of make-up, spend an hour on my hair, pose all day and not look like that. Maybe I need a longer stick!"

Keep Reading...Show less

Rap Songs With A Deeper Meaning

Rap is more than the F-bomb and a beat. Read what artists like Fetty, Schoolboy Q, Drake, and 2Pac can teach you.

Rap artist delivers performance on stage
Photo by Chase Fade on Unsplash

On the surface, rap songs may carry a surface perception of negativity. However, exploring their lyrics reveals profound hidden depth.Despite occasional profanity, it's crucial to look beyond it. Rap transcends mere wordplay; these 25 song lyrics impart valuable life lessons, offering insights that extend beyond the conventional perception of rap music.

Keep Reading...Show less

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

Maybe don't try them all in one day...

21 Drinks For Your 21st Birthday

My 21st birthday is finally almost here. In honor of finally turning 21, I thought I'd share 21 fun drinks since it's finally legal for me to drink them.

Some of these drinks are basic, but some of them are a little more interesting. I thought they all looked pretty good and worth trying, so choose your favorites to enjoy at your big birthday bash!

Keep Reading...Show less

Ancient Roman Kings: 7 Leaders of Early Rome

The names and dates of the reigns of the first four kings, as well as the alternation of Sabin and Latin names, are more legendary than historical. The last three kings, of Etruscan origin, have an existence which seems less uncertain.

inside ancient roman building
Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

It is evident that all this is only a legend although archeology shows us little by little that these kings if they did not exist as the ancient history, describes them, have at least in the very Outlines were real as chief of a shepherd’s tribe. The period when kings ruled Rome could estimate at 245 years.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Love Lost

Being the girl that is falling for the boy is never easy.

Love Lost

You constantly text my phone telling me that you want to see me and hang out, even though we may not have sex we cuddle and that’s intimacy in its own. I’m tired of buying you food and being there for you like a girlfriend when you consistently tell me you aren't ready for a girlfriend. I am constantly feeling I’m getting slapped in the face because I’m doing all these things and getting nothing in return. Every day I feel myself liking you more which is just crazy because why would I even waste my time liking someone there isn’t a future with. I just want you to be honest with me and with yourself, tell me how you feel from your heart, stop just saying you aren’t ready. You are wasting time telling me you aren’t ready because while you are “getting ready” some guy somewhere else is telling me that he likes me and thinks I’m beautiful and wants to date me. I’m not asking for much, but I at least want exclusivity because you ask me for all these things but in return you give me nothing.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments