As I advance in my life, I have become more aware of my true emotions, my feelings. I pay more attention to my inner thoughts, I spend more time in my own head. This process has been very beneficial to me, especially with my past, locking away emotions, compartmentalizing thoughts, and refusing to acknowledge how I genuinely felt. Although, it poses problems as well. Sometimes those thoughts, those emotions, my own head, they're well, not pleasant for lack of better words.
I am a twenty-two-year-old woman, living in a world that is saturated by superficial beauty. From a young age, we are raised believing that all women should look like our Barbie dolls; a size zero with blue eyes, long, platinum blond hair, tan legs, and a wardrobe large enough to clothe an entire village. As we mature, we read magazines that are plastered with "perfect", airbrushed women. They pose in clothes that we will never afford, or fit into, have blinding white smiles, and not even one hair out of place. Oh but it doesn't stop there, it continues, even well into our forties, fifties, sixties. The world tells you that wrinkles are "so aging". That your face could be so much younger if you just got a touch of Botox, followed by a skincare line costing as much as your child's college tuition.
These images, these ideologies, these superficial expectations have been branded into our minds. They are actually a food source for unpleasant thoughts. Yes, a food source like that of a common parasite. You see these images, you try these "fixes" , you spend your money and time, all the while this parasite grows and becomes strong. Thoughts pop into your mind;
"You're cute, but with those $600.00 jeans, girl, you'll be 'sexy', Beyonce owns the same pair."
"You know, your hair is just not right today, you should probably just give up on today, how on earth could it be a good day with hair like that."
"IF, you just lost 10lbs, then he will fall in love with you, you'll live happily ever after."
"Wow, those wrinkles, YIKES! Quick, some Botox and magic cream made from the milk of a unicorn will fix those right up."
Yes, some of these thoughts are so ridiculous that they almost seem comical. Laughs aside, and in all seriousness, we have thoughts similar to these on a daily basis. We allow so much of our self-worth to be determined by our appearances. I wish I had the answer as to why we do this, but the truth is I do not.
I recently completely chopped my hair off, as in like two days ago. Yes, like chopped. When I wear a beanie I may, or may not look bald. (I probably should have considered the fact that I live in one of the coldest places in America, and it is becoming winter, and my neck is freezing, but that is beside the point.) This move was bold for me. I have always loved my hair, I'll admit it, I have been blessed with strong hair genetics, plain and simple. As I mentioned previously, I have been trying to become more aware of my emotions, of how I genuinely feel about things.
I realized that I have always used my hair as one of my many security blankets, as many women do. With that being said, I made a decision. I I decided to sit in a chair and prove to myself that I do not need long, blonde, Barbie hair to feel feminine, or beautiful. I decided to silence the thoughts that have always told me that I needed to look a certain way to be beautiful. I am so thankful I did. I now have short, short hair, and I love it. I proved to myself that I am not defined by my hair, it grows back. Not to mention, I am becoming the most efficient person ever when it comes to getting ready in the mornings, #winning?
So my fellow women, moms, sisters, daughters, grandmas, hear me. Our world is not going to change, the pictures are not going anywhere, the price for Botox is only going to rise, and straighteners and bleach will always be bad for your hair. The voices in your head telling you that your self-worth is merely a reflection of how you look will keep trying.
But there is hope.
We have the ability to silence the voices and defy the status quo. Embrace your beauty. Cut your hair, or don't. Smile with your imperfect teeth, they give you character. Show off your wrinkles, they tell your journey, or get Botox, but know you are beautiful either way. Tell your fellow women that they are intelligent, kind, and capable, and that is beautiful. Refuse to be a slave to superficial beauty, it only lasts so long.
