If you're reading this, you're probably a little cute. But maybe in a sort of ugly way, like "you're cute, but your friends cuter," or "you're cute, but you'd be really cute if you just wore your hair a different way." Yeah. I've been there. You're maybe cute in the way a dandelion is cute, or a walrus is cute, or a ladybug. Yeah, you're cute, but you're still a weed, or you still have tusks. You might just be imagining it, or you might just have the wrong friends, but it's okay, because that's obviously not what matters the most. You're smart and strong and successful and great, and you're a little cute.
If you think you're one of those people, cute, but in a kind of ugly way, you'll relate to these 8 things.
1. "Hey, you're cute, hit me up sometime."
He's not going to hit you up, and if you hit him up, he'll probably talk to you about your pets and your schooling and your job for a few hours, and then throw his phone into a crater somewhere and never look at his messages again. It's okay, he's shallow anyway.
2. "Maybe we can go on a double date sometime, I have a friend that I bet you'll really like."
He means he wants to date your best friend. That's it. He's into your best friend. His friend is probably in the Dungeons and Dragons club, and nothing against that but it's not the most exciting double date conversation, and the trench coats are a little weird, especially in summer. Double dates are the worst, so you dodged a bullet.
3. "Girrrrrrrl, let me give you a makeover sometime! It'll be like the Princess Diaries!"
First of all, no. Second of all.... No. Anne Hathaway is perfect, but you are so much cuter than pre-princess Mia Thermopolis. Your 'friend' would just fry your hair trying to make it straighter or curlier or more something anyway. And definitely would stab you in the eye with a mascara wand and give you pinkeye or something. Whatever it is, it's nothing a good nights sleep won't fix.
4. You look awful in fitting room mirrors.
Nothing against you, but you pretty much have to be a beauty queen to look good in those things. Why, why?! You either look like a potato (and not a crinkle fry or a curly fry or any of the superior types of potatoes), or you just magically become a double chin and some arms. Or both! Like a poorly assembled Mr. Potato Head. And the lighting will always make you look like you have a horrible sunburn and greasy hair. That's just the way it goes.
5. Selfies are your redefining moments.
Girl, you look SO good. How do you do that? All of your stupid hot friends will literally stare at your selfies and ask for the secrets, but you probably don't even own a selfie stick or a light up case. You're just that good. Dating sites love you, and you're the queen of Instagram. You don't even need filters to make your makeup-free, unwashed hair pajama day look like a walk on the runway.
6. When you say, "oh, it's my bum day today, I'm not up to going out," and people say "oh, I'm sure you look fine," they're wrong. You look awful.
If you're going to the mall, or the grocery store, or anywhere where there might be people you know, you'll have to change out of your pajamas. Otherwise you might end up on one of those People of Walmart pages, and nobody wants that. When you're normally cute and a little bit ugly wearing you're in your sweatpants with your hair up, you're probably ugly but a little bit cute.
7. Cute messy bun? What's that?
It's an art. You haven't mastered it. it's either super high and tight and pulling all of your hair out and making your scalp feel like a pincushion, or all of your hair is in your face and probably getting sweaty on your neck or your forehead or somewhere else you don't want sweaty hair. A cute messy bun takes at least 10 minutes, a mirror, and a few bobby pins. I don't know how they do it either. I envy them.
8. You've probably got an ugly/cute quirk.
Maybe you snort when you laugh, or you burp like a man, or one of your eyebrows is always a little weird and bushy. I promise almost no one notices but you, and I promise that it's way more endearing than it is ugly/annoying. Anyone who knows about it just thinks it's sweet, and no one judges you for it as much as you judge yourself. Go ahead and laugh on that date, if he doesn't like your little snort, don't go back out with him.
9. You are undeniably unique, and anyone in your life wants you for you.
If a guy is in your life, he's staying. Your girlfriends adore you, and you are definitely one of the best friends they've ever had. You are you, and you are normal, and you are great. Do you, and own it. Even if sometimes its in an ugly way, you are cute as hell, and you should definitely never forget it.
