It's Okay to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life, Even if They're Family
Start writing a post

It's Okay to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life, Even if They're Family

Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

It's Okay to Cut Toxic People Out of Your Life, Even if They're Family

There's too much to do. You're drowning in tasks and responsibilities that have been put off for days, not to mention your own mental health that you've neglected for this person. Everything on your priority list has been set aside so that you can help them out. You've dropped your own plans and even lost sleep because you know it would mean a lot to them if you helped. After painstakingly doing everything in your power to complete the task, they look you in the eyes, completely ignoring everything you just did. "Nobody ever helps me."

If this were a romantic relationship between two people, the support would be overwhelming for the one who dropped everything in a heartbeat to be the hero.

"Why do you keep doing things for someone who doesn't care?"

"You don't have to be with someone that doesn't appreciate you."

"You deserve someone better."

But what happens if that person is your family? Your siblings? Your own mother?

When it comes to family, we tend to try a little harder for them. Blood ties are the first and some of the most important relationships we as human beings will ever have in our lifetimes. It's almost instinct to want to go the extra mile for a family member because of those ties.

The sad thing is those blood ties are also what makes it easier to dismiss toxic behavior with excuses like, "They didn't mean it that way," or, "That's just the way they are." No one ever immediately jumps to the conclusion that a family member is toxic. In fact, it's hard to accept. Who wants to say that they're not on good terms with a family member? However, as human beings, we can only take so much until we break; we can only take so much until it's considered abuse.

The hardest thing about dealing with toxic family members is accepting that they are in fact abusive because abuse doesn't always leave you with scars to show. Many people think, "They didn't hit me. I'm not being abused." The truth is abuse is a shape shifter that comes in different forms, and it will hurt you in ways you never even realized it could. Just because someone is family doesn't mean that the abusive behavior is excused.

Abuse comes in the form of controlling behavior, such as trying to prevent someone from getting a job. Being forced by a family member to alienate yourself from extended family is another way abuse rears its ugly head. Minimizing, shifting the blame, and gas lighting are forms of abuse. Withholding love as a form of punishment, criticizing every little thing you do, dismissing your dreams and achievements as nothing to be proud of while insulting you for even celebrating them, those are all forms of abuse.

You should never feel paralyzed by fear because you're afraid to death of the consequences of doing something wrong. Anxiety should never encapsulate you when you see someone's name flash on your phone. You should never be forced to tears in public because you're being berated over something insignificant.

If you would never watch a dear friend go through any of this with a significant other, why should you let yourself go through it with a family member?

Cutting people out of your life for good should be a last resort. When you've done all you can only to go back to square one over and over and over again, it's time to admit that the toxic person in your life just doesn't want to change.

If you are someone who is at the end of their rope because of a toxic family member, it's okay to cut them out of your life for your own mental health and safety. At a certain point, you can only do so much to help someone and try to fix a relationship before you start hurting yourself in the process. There's a difference between going through tough times with someone and that someone just plain making things tough on you for no reason. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

You know YOU are not determined by your romantic status

How to Celebrate Valentine's Day Without a Valentine

Although the most romantic and love-filled holiday is right around the corner, it's important to know that Feb.14, the middle day of the shortest month of the year, doesn't need to be determined by your current romantic status. With that being said, you can either choose to sulk over the fact that you're single or you can make the best out of Valentine's Day without even having one.

Here are a few ideas to celebrate the day:

Keep Reading... Show less

7 Fun Facts About The Eiffel Tower

The iconic landmark is reinventing itself with a splashy new color.

Eiffel Tower

Soon, the 2024 Summer Olympics are coming to Paris, and the Eiffel Tower will be in the spotlight.

Embedded so much into Paris's identity, the iconic landmark is no stranger to historic events and world-class gatherings over the years. It is sure to shine again.

Keep Reading... Show less

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

You don't just start as the person you are meant to be; there is a journey full of ups and downs that mold a person, so this is my journey.

Blue Skies Weren't Always Blue

Overall I'd love to say I grew up a happy overly enthusiastic child that was taught to love herself and be loved by everyone else, but I can't say that and I never will. My smile wasn't always as bright as it is today, but this is the story behind my smile, the story about how I got here to the happiest place I'll ever be. I'll begin at freshman year of high school.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants

Just remember sometimes it is gonna hurt, whether we want it to or not!

The Heart Wants what the Heart Wants
Where to start...... Let me start with the cliche that life throws us curveballs and what we do with it is what counts.

One day he walked into my life. UNEXPECTED! And one day he walked out!

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

See which conversations rose to the top on Odyssey this week!


New response writers means exciting new conversations on Odyssey! We're proud to spotlight our talented creators and the topics that matter most to them. Here are the top three response articles of last week:

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments