Dear Sophomore Slump,
I’ll be as honest about this as I can, I am incredibly annoyed with you. When I started college, I thought my first year was going to be the point in my life when I had no idea where I stood. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. I mean, I guess it makes sense: sophomore year is the time when we are no longer teenagers, but not completely adults.
Despite how comfortable I may be with who I am to my friends and family, I have no idea who I am to myself.
Am I a writer? Or someone who daydreams too much? Am I not thinking realistically about my career? Am I slipping away from what I actually want? What do I actually want?
This semester alone, I’ve asked myself at least one of these questions every day. It is only my sophomore year, so why are you making me question so many things about myself? Why do you make me care so much at specifically this point in my life? Well,I have so many questions for you.
Why do you make me feel like I should just quit certain things sometimes? Why do you make me feel like I’m just not going to be who I want to be? Is this some way of getting me to question myself, in order to realize what I actually want in life? If so, you’re not doing a very good job in making that happen, because I’m still confused as hell.
This is probably just me being really concerned, but I will always see this as me being confused.
Did you burden a lot of other people with this slump this semester like you burdened me? I know a few friends who are in the same position as I am, but that’s only a few. Who knows how many more college students you have managed to confuse as well? I'm at a point where I have no idea what I want to do with my life, which doesn't make me happy, so you better be gone any day now.
How do you have so much power in my life? I think about this slump every day, and I’m still in it. Wasn’t a semester of this torture enough? Or are you going to continue to pester me until I’m a junior? I’ll just assume that you will since it feels like you’re trying to get me to be sensible.
You’ve made me focus on what is sensible, instead of on what I thought I was truly capable of this entire semester. You wore me out, which caused me to be far too exhausted to get as much stuff done as I could of. You made me want to stop dreaming big. And if the 7-year-old me could see me now, she would be so disappointed.
Even though my dreams of becoming a screenwriter or fiction writer have diminished only a little because of you, she’d really hate you for causing them to diminish at all.
This may be insulting, but I genuinely hate that you are constantly hovering over my shoulder. Plus, it’s not like you love being around me so often either because I’m quite the handful. But you did encourage me with your existence.
I wanted to be free of you so badly, that I managed to academically thrive this semester. And even though I did so well, you are still here.
Really?
You were even here during my break, a time when I wasn’t even thinking about school, but just thinking about how confused I felt last semester. That being said, I must accept the fact that you may not be going anywhere anytime soon. So, I have one favor to ask: give me some of my motivation and confidence back.
Best,
Just another struggling sophomore that has to deal with you
