The words "Can I touch your hair" have been a long running nuisance among women and even a few men for what seems like eons. Personally, I don't mind the question, the problem is the lack of ability to await an answer. Much like a young child inquiring about touching a little animal, the question tends to be asked once the grubby little fingers are ninety-five percent past the ask zone and five percent into the touch zone. Let’s be real the answer doesn't really matter at this point; you're already there. However, the desire for you to not touch our curly hair sprouts from much more than annoyance at smelly, poking fingers. You may find this aversion to your grabby, meddlesome hands quite ridiculous, but that's only because you don't understand the art of textured hair. This guide will help you: the "Curious Spectator" or anyone who wants to take a swing at springing some silky, splendid, spirals understand and learn to approach textured hair.

1. "I don't get it...It's just so.. well I don't know"

Hair is different, just like the people who grow it. There are four different hair types, all of which I will explain below.

Type 1 (Straight hair)

This hair type is easy to style, difficult to damage, and difficult to curl. This hair texture is the most oily out of the four hair types. An abundance of oil is found in this hair type due to its lack of texture. The sebum (natural oils) is given a straight path from root to end in the hair. Straight hair does not require a lot of product and most people with straight hair simply shampoo and condition or use a "2 in 1".

Type 2 (Wavy Hair)

This hair type straddles the line between straight and curly hair. It is still relatively easy to style, but it is very prone to frizz. Wavy hair takes very nicely to straight and curled hair styles, but is damaged more easily than straight hair. There are three classifications of wavy hair: 2A, 2B, and 2C, "A" the loosest and "C" the tightest. Many people have a mixture of wave levels. Common products for wavy hair include mousse, spray gel, lightweight leave in conditioners, and light weight oils. Heavier products may overwhelm this hair texture.

From Type 2 hair on, one of the biggest dilemmas with textured hair and being touched arises... FRIZZ. The best products for these hair textures are expensive and we use a ton. Textured hair is NOT good at holding moisture and once your hands pick up this moisture our hair loses it "poof" frizz and unmanageable hair. Imagine our distress after we put about fifty dollars worth of product in our hair for you to just swoop in, tangle, and frizz out the wash and go of our dreams. Can you say "Curiosity killed the Curls"? In order to save the bounce you so desired to test out we must either go home and start again or find a refreshing product that works. These run from around twenty to fifty dollars at Ouidad, a favorite company for textured haired ladies. To sum it up, your fun little petting session just cost me about seventy to one hundred dollars, "k".

Type 3 (Curly Hair)

This hair type happens to be mine. Type three hair runs from soft "romantic" curls to springy well defined spirals. It is harder to style than two hair and takes nicely to heat styling such as curling irons and blow dryers. The three types of three hair use the same "ABC" categories as type two and type four. My hair is a mix of three "B" and three "C". Type three hair tends to be the most popular amongst "grabby" hands, due to it's "boing" factor. Cue person asking to "boing" and "bounce" your perfectly defined "wash and go". This hair type generally uses heavier leave in conditioners,serums, gels, and curling creams in order to moisturize and avoid frizz.

Type 4 (Coily Hair)

This hair type has the fewest amount of cuticle layers, making it very easily damaged. Too much combing, brushing, or even touching when dry can be detrimental to the hair. The low amount of cuticle layers makes the hair very easy to break so it must be handled with care. Type four hair seems to defy gravity (think of the decade defining "afro"). This hair type can be very deceiving as it is nearly the exact opposite of what it seems, it can lose about seventy-five percent of its length due to "shrinkage"! This hair type needs a magnitude of moisture so type four ladies lean towards "butters", oils, and "custards" to keep their hair fabulous.

2. "So you don't wash your hair? Ew"

I personally hate this question, it makes metaphorical steam come out of my ears, like I hate it. I don't wash my hair everyday, you're right. However, that doesn't mean I don't wash it at all and that doesn't mean that it is dirty. The first thing to understand is that textured hair does not get oily as quickly as straight hair does, so ours does not feel greasy at the end of the day like straight hair does. The second thing to understand is that our hair needs twice as much conditioner and moisture as it does shampoo. Shampoo dries our hair and too much will make it unmanageable and frizzy. However, many of us will spray our hair with water and/ or add a curl refresher at night before bed in between washes. The third thing I would like you to understand is that washing textured hair takes a long time. When I say a long time I mean a long time, it takes hours. Many women with textured hair will take out at least three hours to devote to their hair on "wash day". There is no time for "wash day" to be every day. My last statement on the topic of textured hair cleanliness might be an eye opener: straight hair is more prone to lice than textured hair. I personally think little bugs are dirtier than a day without shampoo, but that's just me.

3. Textured hair is in no way unprofessional, end of story. It is the way it naturally grows out of our heads and it is beautiful. I've heard lame as fudge arguments about it being distracting and my only response is an eye roll. You should be hiring grown people who are more interested in paying their bills than someone's hair and if your employees can't do that then you need to hire focused adults.

At this point, I hope you can understand and sympathize with our annoyance at people manhandling and misunderstanding our hair. It is complex, needy, and volatile it's almost like our child. Our hair is a part of us just like our hands, legs, or chests. You don't want everyone jiggling your boobs and we don't like everyone pulling on our hair. If you would like to play with it just ask, we don't bite.