I am cautiously optimistic, but I am becoming maddened by curiosity.
I sit in wonder, not paralyzed by all the ways it could go wrong, but rather because I am not satisfied.
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There is an organization that I am dreaming of interning for. There is a state I wish to live in. There is a soul that I would like to connect with.
The more that time passes, the more that I realize that I thrive in the mystery. My heart quickens, my creativity blossoms, and I find myself stepping out where I never thought I would find myself.
The adventures that I have had required risk and acts of bravery.
The most fabulous New Year's Eve party that I have ever attended was a result of forcing myself to travel alone. My favorite college courses have been a result of stepping out from dread and fear of possible disdain. There are friendships made, experiences had, food tasted, people loved, all because of a beckoning to step out and be unafraid. The curiosity in my soul has lead me to see so many beautiful things and is why I highly disbelieve that we should just accept what comes to us.
If our curiosity is not there even just to force us to experience life, why would we not let ourselves explore possibility?
Last week, I thought about being cautiously optimistic, but this week, I am talking about allowing yourself to move forward, to truly live bravely.
My favorite professor once worded it best, “Proceed. Proceed with Caution, but still. Proceed.”
Recently, another human and I have been talking about leaning into the fear and uncertainty in our interactions and relationships. The more that we have discussed this, the more I truly believe that we as humans beings were not meant to stay stationary and stagnant. We were meant to dive into the unknown, take the road not yet traveled and see where it might take us.
There is so much to see and taste. Yes, we might receive a rejection letter, but why can it not be received after we have tried our hardest to win the job or internship? Perhaps the people that we love will untie themselves from us or move on to someone new, but would we not be at least a tiny bit proud of the love that we shared?
The way that I see it is that we are given two possibilities when we move forward, potentially fail miserably in our bravery or possibly thrive while walking in courage.
Treading lightly and cautiously has become a somewhat pattern all of my life, yet it is time for a change. Now, I think I am ready to satiate curiousity. I am ready to step out. For, as Ben Stiller’s film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty says best, “To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life.”
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