For The One Who Is Fighting That Devil, Heartbreak

For The One Who Is Fighting That Devil, Heartbreak

Enduring a breakup? Read here.
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We've all been there... the dreaded heartbreak. Whether you're 18 or 48, unfortunately, you have endured it. The crying and wondering why you were never good enough. The sleepless nights, broken heart, and tired eyes.

It happens to the best of us, so here's a sure cure to the devil of emotion we love to call heartbreak.

First things first, ladies and gentlemen... you have to take a few days to mourn. It's alright to be sad. So stay in bed and feel sorry for yourself. Finish that tub of ice cream and cry a bit. Get all of that rejection out of your system.

After you get away from the gloom, it's time to buck up and move on. You have to come to terms with yourself and the breakup. You have to sit down and have a talk with yourself. Remember that it's going to be OK and sincerely convince yourself that you deserve better than to feel this way.

After you persuade yourself and talk your conscious through getting over the heartache, it's time to do some physical fixing. Wake up early, go to the gym, get brunch with a friend and start the day off positively. Play some music and remind yourself that there is nothing in this world you cannot conquer. The world is YOURS! So go out and take it.

Now for therapy... go out on a dinner date. Buy yourself a new outfit. Do your makeup or get a fresh haircut.

Buy a new bed set.

Invite friends over to play cards and have the time of your life while rebuilding the other half of your character that you feel you lost.

Read a few Bible verses, meditate, regain connection with your inner-self. Become OK with the situation — you MUST become acquainted with the new environment.

End your day with a nice hot shower or a bath, listen to some of your favorite tunes, and eat one of your best-loved meals. Lay down in your NEW bet set, pick up your favorite book, video game, or something of that sort and think about how lucky you are. Think about how awesome it is to live, love, and learn. Think about all the opportunity you have. Remind yourself of how blessed you are, and remember that no one has your back like you do.

Cover Image Credit: Macey Joe Mullins

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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A Poem For An Old Friend Gone Too Soon

"Tributes"

rcdoerr
rcdoerr
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I remember the first time I met you

back when I still believed in magic

and tore through more books

than meals at the dinner table.


I remember how small you seemed

how I could wrap my middle finger and thumb

around your wrist

and still, have both fingertips overlap.


I remember how I flung my winter jacket into the air once

in the fourth grade

and the zipper caught your right eyebrow;

I didn't mean to hurt you, but you cried anyway.


there is no elegant way to get the words out now

I can't take your conversations out of other people's mouths

and string you back together with them--

they are not mine to cut up and spit out.


those moments have soaked into the soil beneath us

they say we are all in a constant state of becoming--

you have stopped becoming

you have simply become.


become a wilting memory

become a name whispered under breathless pain

become something pulled from twisted metal on a highway

but I suppose you already know that.


there are no delicate realizations

the morning after

when we wake up

and you do not.


and the people who don't know you

will feel emptiness in their ribcages nonetheless

they are afraid that one day your face will take on the features

of a corner of their own heart, too.


your peers cried over your godliness at the service

and it sickened me

call it a collision with fate

but there was nothing holy about this.


the wreckage is what heartbreak feels like;

ours have all stopped pumping blood

we are just trying our hardest

to be closer to you.

rcdoerr
rcdoerr

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