Cup Completely Empty

Cup Completely Empty

Control, controls me.

38
views

Fear. Desire. Anger. Love. Motivation.

Emotions.

A hand shoves itself inside me and rips every last one out

I am empty.

All of the feelings are exchanged with control. The uttermost desire for control

I grasp control with the last bit of energy I have and vow to never let it go

The relationship I have always wanted, I have it now.

Wait.

There's a twist

This control, it controls me.

I stand face to face,

with myself.

The face that stares back at me, unrecognizable

Sunken eyes and a broken smile

I am prisoner to my own self as my mouth waters

A dark hole that will never be satisfied no matter how full or empty

Guns trigger everywhere making it impossible to avoid a bullet

A future memory never occurs

Current moments are never registered

Images of perfection are glued to my eyes like contacts

I am fading away, the face staring back at me is blurry now

Bricks tied to a string slowly drown me in fear

I've been drifting to the bottom for years, a bottomless pit

I lie to my face, promising change that will only turn in to a game

Light as a feather

I walk through life, dragged by the motions with a chain around my ribcage

Sucking me in by the minute and taking every heartbeat away one by one

I scribble nonsense on a pieces of paper, only to repeat myself the next day

A paper cut that keeps getting deeper, more painful

My mouth spits out knots of promises and lies, I forget what's up or down

A fist forms preparing to shatter the face that's staring back at me

But the control is too quick, too powerful

Time to get back to work

I scale myself, analyzing every inch of my canvas

It changes every single hour, my mind keeps morphing me

The devil sits upon my shoulder and whispers the loudest words of hate into my ears

envy wraps its hand around my neck and chokes me

The thinnest sheets of paper make the largest pile in the book of my life

Mutilation and self destruction run like clockwork

But don't worry….

My story doesn't end here

Popular Right Now

To The Person Feeling Like They're Losing Their Hometown Friends

Don't fret to much, if they are truly your best friends, you aren't gonna lose them.

484
views

When you grow up and leave home to go to college or whatever your plans are after high school, you and your hometown best friends promise to make time for each other. You promise to always get together over breaks and to visit each other if you aren't going to the same schools or living in the same town.

But you realize over time that maybe those promises aren't gonna be kept.

Life gets complicated. School starts to become harder and harder, there are extracurriculars and work, and trying to figure out the rest of your lives; things start to get in the way. Visiting starts to happen less and less, getting together over breaks gets more complicated, you try to stay in contact but the hours in the day seem to get shorter and shorter. There are too many things that you have to accomplish in one day that it's difficult to know if you can even get together.

You start to ask yourself "Am I losing my closest friends?"

And the answer to that question is no, your lives are changing and things are starting to become real but they will always be there. Just because you don't talk all the time or you go a few months without seeing each other, they are still your friends. They will always care and always be there. Don't stress about it too much, they are always gonna be there, it's just that your lives are pulling all of you in different directions and it can get hard to keep up with everyone because you are all so busy.

You are growing up but you're not necessarily growing apart!

If they are truly your best friends they will always be there, and you there for them. As time goes on, your lives will continue to change but you are always gonna be friends. Just know that they are there when you need them, and when you do get to see each other, it's like nothing has changed and you pick up right where you left off. Your friendship is important to all of you. Don't let a little bit of silence or a busy life cause problems. You haven't lost them, trust me, you all are just figuring out life. Don't take it personally when you don't talk for a while.

"Amigas, Cheetahs, Friends for life" — Cheetah Girls

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

A Letter To The End Of The Semester

Sincerely, your only slightly disgruntled student
918
views

Dear End of the Semester,

Yes, I am talking to you! The semester that has thrown me for a loop and that is finally coming to an end. I just wanted to say that I hope you enjoyed your fun because there were definitely days that I didn’t enjoy it as much as you did. Like remember the day that you decided to have three different papers due and for once I had them all done a week early, but you and my computer decided that the day before was a good idea to get into an argument? You know how the computer gets, yet you still did it anyways. And of course he shut down, and it took me and many skilled technicians to coax him out of his hibernation. I don’t know if I can necessarily forgive you for that one, but I guess the semester wasn’t all that bad. Yes, I agree it wasn’t all that bad. Don’t try and make fun of me for it, because it’s just going to get next semester in trouble.

I will admit that you haven’t been as terrible as I tended to make you out to be during times of stress. During those times, I forgot that there is only so much the both of us could do during a five-month time period. So, I apologize to you too, semester, for not taking opportunities that I should have because I let the stress overrun everything. Let’s not dwell on those things and remember the amazing things that happened. Let’s remember the amazing trips that we took and the accomplishments that we made in preparation for all the travel and goal crushing to come over the semester. There was so much that we did this time around that would have or could have never been done before without these last couple of months and the people that we hold dear. I just hope that we can carry this enthusiasm from now until the end of finals and through to the summer.

Speaking of the dreaded Mr. Finals—is there anything you can do in order to get him to take a chill pill throughout the next two weeks? Because if not, we’re all going to have problems and we’ve had such a great end that I really don’t want to cause problems now. With that said, let me just say that even after finals are over, I will look at you, Semester, and know that you tried your best and that I tried my best, no matter what. I thought, though, that this letter to you would be helpful so that the next time that we see each other we can just start off with all the amazing stuff and skip some of those questionable moments. So, until next time Semester, I love you, but I am so ready for Summer to come around.

Sincerely,

Your only slightly disgruntled student

Cover Image Credit: Shannon Smirnow

Related Content

Facebook Comments