"Are you going to grad school?" my friend asked me as we stood in front of a flyer advertising the upcoming workshop on how to "fund grad school and beyond."
Grad school and beyond? What about Monday and beyond? It was only the start of my week and I was already being asked questions I did not want to think about and did not have the answer to.
"I'm not sure," I answered. "I haven't really thought about it."
"I mean, you're just in a major that I think usually goes to grad school," she continued.
I shrugged my shoulders and we moved on, but suddenly gears in my head were turning with some fascination, and quite a bit of annoyance. Why is the social norm in our society to know what you are doing with your life from the time you can talk? How many times do we ask kids what they want to be when they grow up and they respond cheerily with "President of the United States!" or "Popstar!" Proud parents grin with joy about the great aspirations their children have, yet who is going to be the one to tell their children that the likelihood of being either one of those things is close to about .0000001%?
At age 14, we are expected to have an idea of what we want to do in college so we can take classes similar to it in high school. By 17, we should basically know what university we are attending (if we are not already committed). By 18, if you don't have a major already, well sorry to burst your bubble, but you're behind. And apparently by now, almost two months into your second year of college, you should know if you are going to grad school.
The pressure to be able to answer such big questions at such a young age is not something I, or many of peers for that matter, am equipped for. I would like to get through at least two full years of college before I get asked any big and stress-inducing questions about grad school, job prospects, or what I am doing with my life. However, the cultural emphasis on "acting early" and "being ahead of the pack" is impossible to ignore. It makes me wonder if we are inadvertently creating know-it-all, on-the-fast-track kids who actually feel lost, but are afraid to speak up about how they feel because they think everyone else has already got it all figured out.
Here's a newsflash: No one has it all figured out. Late night stress-eating, frequent mental breakdowns, and the feeling like you want to ignore the world are all results of these big unanswerable questions, and they are unhealthy. Society's big expectations are causing our youth, the most vibrant and promising generation, to feel like they are drowning with no way out.
What's the most important thing to realize, though, is this; It's okay to not know what you want to do with your life. It's okay to need help figuring it out. It's okay to be honest with yourself and take everything one day at a time.
So, am I going to grad school? I don't know. But I'm okay with that.
