Cuffing Season And Why It's Okay To Be Single

Cuffing Season And Why It's Okay To Be Single

Cuffing season may seem like the perfect time for you to go snag a boo, right?
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The leaves are changing color, it's finally sweater weather and you find yourself listening to sappy love songs in your dim, little dorm room or apartment (if you're lucky). That's right, cuffing season is finally upon us and everybody is frantically searching for that special someone to spend the miserably cold late fall and winter months with. Some of you might find yourselves asking, what is cuffing season anyway?

Cuffing Season was first introduced (on Urban Dictionary, anyway) in 2011. It is defined as a seasonal occurrence, "During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

According to Hello Giggles, cuffing season lasts from November to March. However, the reality is that cuffing season promptly begins with the introduction of pumpkin spice everything for the year. Maybe it is just the pumpkin spice getting to everyone's heads, or possibly the fact that football season is in full swing, who knows.

Whatever the case maybe, nobody wants to spend the cold, frigid fall and winter months seventh wheeling on dates and binge-watching Netflix alone. Whether you need a date to bring to a Christmas party or a cuddle buddy that’ll keep coming back, cuffing season may seem like the perfect time for you to go snag a boo. Right?

Though this sounds like a very nice and genuine idea, cuffing season is not all it is made out to be. Cuffing season is temporary and when the weather becomes warmer and summer approaches, un-cuffing season begins. Once the snow disappears, so could your so-called “cuff.”

Unfortunately, the chances of the relationship ending as quickly as it began are very, very high ending in heartbreak and sorrow for one, if not both parties involved. In addition, because cuffing season is and has been a rising trend, millennials especially, feel pressured into getting into a relationship just because everyone else is doing it. Ah, peer pressure strikes again. However, it does not have to be this way.

If you are someone who feels content being single, do not, and I repeat, do not let the pressure get to you. It is more than okay to stay single. Nobody needs another person to complete them nor should anybody feel as if they have to be in a relationship to be happy.

Take this time to work on yourself. Go grab your favorite blanket, a journal, and your laptop and cuddle up in bed and relax. Or, go out and step out of your comfort zone. Make new friends, raise your grades or go get that job you’ve always dreamed of. Whatever you decide, use what everyone else refers to as cuffing season to change yourself for the better.

Whether you choose to take part in cuffing season festivities or you would rather stay a "single pringle," do whatever your heart desires and do not let anybody dull your sparkle!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Stop Saying 'Love Is Love' And Then Shame Me For Dating A Republican

"How can you date a Republican?!" Quite easily, actually.

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"And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love." Other theater geeks like me probably also remember this quote from Lin-Manuel Miranda's Tony acceptance speech in 2016. Now, thanks to Lin-Manuel and his talent for catchy phrases, every time someone says "love is love," all I can think of is Lin-Manuel's emphatic cry for equality.

This cry is one that I support wholeheartedly. I think that you should be allowed to love whomever you choose and that you should do so without fear of hatred or scrutiny. If you are a guy who loves guys, great. If you are a girl who loves girls, great. If you are a girl who loves guys and girls, great. You are born a certain way with certain sexual preferences, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, if you believe that people should be free to love anyone they choose, then, honey, you better start looking past gender.

Let me tell you a little story.

Recently, I had a conversation with one of my closest friends about my boyfriend of almost 11 months. Somehow (and I'm shocked that this hadn't come up before), my boyfriend's political preferences became the topic of conversation.

The conversation went something like this:

"Wait, so is Tom a Democrat or Republican?"

"He's a Republican."

"WHAT?! Are you serious?"

"Yep."

"How can you date a Republican?"

After that, I basically went on a five-minute rant about how at the end of the day, his political preferences only make up a small fraction of who he is as a person and that I am not so shallow that I would be deterred by something this trivial.

At our cores, Tom and I value the exact same things: compassion, knowledge, kindness, dedication, honesty, respect, and above all else, love. Tom loves me unconditionally and I give him that same love in return; honestly, what else could I ask for?

Tom and I do get in some political arguments from time to time, but we also agree on those issues that are most important to me: female reproductive rights, marriage equality, and support for survivors of sexual assault. All of those things are non-negotiables for me, and Tom understands that and possesses his own list of non-negotiables.

Before you ask, yep, he voted for Trump. Did that take me back at first? Yes. Did I struggle to understand what would compel a person to vote for him? Absolutely. Did that thought kind of terrify me at first? Hell yes.

But you know what? After I just sat and listened to Tom's reasoning as to why he voted for him and watched him delve deep into Trump's policies, I could understand why some would vote for him. And to tell the truth, once I fell in love with Tom, none of that mattered anymore. And what is sad is that people so often fall so deep into their own echo chambers nowadays, that they wouldn't even give someone with different beliefs their ear. Well, I'm damn glad I did because Tom is the most amazing person I've ever met and I fall more in love with him every day.

So to tie this all together with a pretty little bow, if you're going to go around and preach that love is love and that everyone should be free to love whom they choose, then that shouldn't change for me. Maybe you're a Democrat that would never date a Republican or maybe you're a Republican who would never date a Democrat; that's your choice. But we don't get to choose who we fall in love with (much to the dismay of my liberal family and friends). Just keep an open mind and who knows? Maybe you could find some absolutely epic happiness.

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My Rating On Ghosting? BOO.

Just recently I found out what it was like to be ghosted, and it literally is almost worse than going through a tough breakup.

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Ghosting is literally one of the worst things I've experienced. I give it a 0/10 on my list of things I'd love to try again.

It makes you feel like everything said, any interest someone had in you, was all a complete sham. If you've got anxiety, it can keep your mind running around in circles thinking about what it is you did wrong and what you could have changed to make things work out. Your heart breaks a little no matter how little you really got to know them (unless you weren't that interested) because there was a potential that they'd be a great companion (at least until they completely disappeared, that is). Even if you say you don't care, some small part of you does and is just trying to put on a brave face. You wonder why all of a sudden the person is disinterested when nothing you did changed. It feels almost worse than a breakup, because you never got to experience the grand love affair that real couples do, and the ones who ghost never let you see it coming, whereas there's a small chance in a relationship.

If your situation is anything like mine was, there is literally no way you could have imagined being ghosted. The guy in question seemed like he cared, and was there for me every single day after we began talking. We even met in person and called each other boyfriend and girlfriend after he asked me to be official. We never got to see each other after that because of the distance, though I tried to make plans, and then the blocking/ghosting out of nowhere. There was no fight, there was no explanation, he was just gone completely.

I understand that some people go through things internally, too, and they might not feel like sticking around with someone they don't care for anymore. I get that sometimes circumstances change and that you don't want to hurt someone. What I truly don't understand is not having the decency to be honest about those things if they come up. If you don't want to be with someone, just explain to them, and then if they become too angry, or something you can't handle, you have the right to block them. Don't just do it to avoid having a potentially uncomfortable conversation. It is disrespectful and implies that the other person is no longer worth your time or effort.

I don't wish ill on the guy who ghosted me. I truly hope he has a great life, and that he achieves the things he sets out to do. I just wish I could have been there to support him along the way, for at least some time if we wouldn't have lasted. Instead, I don't even get to tell him how proud I am of him whether we would have been together or not when he does have a great life and does great things.

I know we obviously weren't meant to work out, but we were meant to be honest with each other as we promised. I never lied to him, so I wish he wouldn't have lied to me.

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