You may have started as a high school valedictorian, student body president, a varsity sports team captain, a national reward recipient. And then. you came to college. The university placed you on the Dean's List, but so many other people earned this recognition. You write a great features article for the newspaper, then another writer pens something much better and makes your work seem insignificant. You pile on all these different activities and apply for an internship, yet someone from a bigger university receives the position.
It's no secret that college creates competition. Each student only has four years –– or less, in some cases –– to take advantage of all the resources provided and build a strong foundation for their dream career. However, they share these aspirations with thousands of other peers, which results in a cutthroat environment. Some of the best friendships die in college if two people pick the same major –– even at Christian schools like Biola, our selfish, sinful nature tells us that our friends took our dreams away. Our minds convince us that our friends deceived us and secretly tried to help themselves climb the career ladder instead of supporting our greatest hopes.
After a while, students realize that they must prove their worth in every area, so college competition extends beyond the academic realm. It starts with fitness. It's not uncommon to hear something like this around campus –– "Guess what? I ate a granola bar for breakfast, drank a smoothie for lunch, and ate a salad for dinner." The other person replies, "I'm so proud of you! I'm also trying to become healthier and ran four miles today." Many people cannot even support their friends' goals anymore –– it becomes all about them and asserting their worth, even if that's accomplished through passive-aggressive or subtle statements.
I've seen this passive aggressiveness manifest even at Christian Universities. Christians don't want to appear inauthentic, especially when they attend a school with thousands of believers, so they'll find a way to make their faith appear extra authentic. They'll read their Bible in open places, sing extra loud during worship. or find every last opportunity to mention that missions trip they took over break. It's not wrong to share these things, but our motivations remain important. Do we encourage friends with the things we share, or do we secretly want to boost our self-esteem?
College students have developed a negative habit of making themselves look great for others and masking their flaws. As a result, this competitiveness manifests even unexpected or unnecessary ways during many conversations. Think about the last time you talked with someone about how much coffee you drank. The conversation most likely went like this. Person one: "I had a bunch of homework to do last night, so I drank three cups of coffee." Person two: "I drink so much coffee too! I had a four-shot latte from Starbucks last night." It's possible that the second person indeed answered honestly, but it's also possible that they wanted to prove that they could handle the highest amount of coffee and still function properly.
Healthy competition inspires and encourages students while unhealthy competition produces selfishness and negativity. Checking our motivations in every situation becomes critical so competition does not appear in unnecessary places. Limiting unwarranted competition allows students to support each other, build even stronger friendships, and realize that sometimes their best efforts are enough.
