Sesame Street does an amazing job of educating our children through play and fun, and their desire to more accurately represent our world through diversity and inclusivity is a very honorable agenda. But sometimes, that need for diversity goes a little too far, and I will be the first to say that if the Sesame Street executives ever feel the need to give Cookie Monster a cousin named Brain Monster who only eats the brains of small children, I am one hundred percent not okay with that.
That kind of inclusiveness is just going too far.
Sesame Street is supposed to be a magical place where everyone can have fun, learn new things, and be safe, but if all of its residents are too busy running around trying to escape the hungry clutches of Cookie Monster’s cannibalistic cousin, there will be no time to learn about the ABC’s or how to count to ten. Instead, our children will be learning about our most primitive survival instincts and the harsh reality that sometimes people eat other people and Muppets eat other Muppets. I, for one, don’t want my young kids learning about the consumption of human flesh at such an early age, and I especially don’t want them thinking it’s okay.
Beyond my own concerns, the Sesame Street team over at HBO should be wary of this new character, too. I fear that including a Brain Monster Muppet who exclusively eats the mushy innards of child skulls would only scare its viewers and turn parents away from watching the beloved program in their homes. The show would lose longtime viewers who originally watch for its wholesome edu-taining content.
The kind of sick, twisted, gruesome individualism Brain Monster would bring with him should not be tolerated on Sesame Street—Caillou maybe, but certainly not this historic program children have been growing up on for decades.
And once Brain Monster comes flying in munching on a half-eaten chunk of brain, who else will stumble on into town? I don’t want to see Big Bird’s brother, Even Bigger Bird, flaunting his large, unhealthy girth as “just a thyroid problem”, nor do I want to see The Count’s aunt, Actual Vampire “The Countess”, sucking Elmo’s blood like it’s the last drink on the street. Audiences that stick around will, unfortunately yet inevitably, get used to Brain Monster teaching them about the various ways to tastefully prepare human brains. The possibilities for new characters after his introduction will be endless and terrifying.
When will the creative minds behind this beloved children’s program realize they’ve gone too far? When will they realize they’ve traded in all their morals for ratings?
No. We cannot allow Brain Monster to bring an inclusivity-induced apocalypse to Sesame Street.
Introducing a cousin for Cookie Monster called Brain Monster, who pounces on children to tear open their craniums for the sweet, sweet flesh inside, is just the beginning of a slippery slope that is sure to lead to a generation of youths who think it’s okay to just eat the faces off their friends in order to get to the good stuff inside and pass it all off as a learning experience. I will not sit idly by if we ever promote this savagery disguised as diversity, and I urge you to stand with me against this wicked prerogative!
