"Courage and fear are not mutually exclusive."
As I read this, I held my finger on the word "courage," pressed it down and dragged my virtual highlighter through the words that elicited an audible "huh" from my mouth.
"Of course," I thought to myself.
"You've done it again, Brené Brown."
When has there ever been an act of courage that was absent of fear? Never. At least not to my knowledge or in my experience.
There's a specific sense of terrifying splendor that comes with the feeling of being "brave and afraid at the same time" as Brown puts it. I remember the sound of a certain quote floating around in my mind when I was younger and constantly hoisting myself up onto the back of a horse: "Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."
John Wayne said that, but my mom and a couple of riding coaches have ingrained it in my head along the way.
At some points, I've thought that having courage is akin to being ignorant if you're aware that the outcome might hurt you. I suppose ignorance isn't all that bad so long as there's an element of curiosity and the looming possibility of a major gain.
However, I've also come to know that some of my biggest gains were first precipitated by my biggest losses.
It takes courage to let go of something. In my case, I have to make a daily choice to let go of the control that tries to claim my conscious. I go into situations fearful of the outcomes but trusting when I look back and weigh my odds. I always think that my record of making it through fearful times is 100% because I'm sitting here now, writing this, existing beyond previous times that called for a tempered blend of fear and courage.
We've all experienced fear bred from lonely places where the only way out is through and the path going through is foggy with low visibility so pushing onward requires an immense amount of courage and blind assurance.
We've all had to choose between doing what's hardest and doing what's easiest. Fear, like junk food, stunts our growth as children.
It's something that has to be conditioned from an early age so that eventually, courage can be the outcome and a permanent skill in our repertoire.
There's another quote that my mom used to say to me and my younger brother as we would stumble out of the car in the early mornings as we got dropped off for elementary school. She would smile at us and say "don't forget what Maya Angelou says! 'It takes courage to be kind!'" And off we would go.
Most hard decisions or actions in this world take courage which means they also require a certain level of fear.
As a six-year-old noticing a lonely classmate on the playground, it takes courage to peel off from your group of friends that are already congregated around the monkey bars to accompany the lonely soul in the corner by the slides.
Though they're not exactly aware of it, the six-year-old must push past fear to display an act of kindness.
The soldier in uniform must push past fear to exert courage day in and day out.
The high school senior deciding where to land for their next chapter must push past fear to summon the courage to go out of state, alone, knowing nobody, to pursue something they desire.
We are capable of feeling an overwhelming number of emotions at once. Courage and fear are two of those. I believe that we can have fear without courage, but the more I explore my past and present, along with that of others, I realize the truth in the words of Brené Brown.
