When my fiancé and I first announced our engagement the responses were varied, to say the least. There’s been misunderstandings, excitement, and too many questions of “are you pregnant?!” (For the record, no I am not.) But thankfully, the general consensus has been one of pure joy.
I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life at age 19. He is everything I could have hoped for since I was little. Our story isn’t a true American love story but it’s definitely one I’ll cherish forever. There is a Rupi Kaur quote that I think perfectly describes my feelings for this man:
“No, it won’t be love at first sight when we meet it’ll be love at first remembrance ‘cause I’ve recognized you in my mother’s eyes when she tells me marry the type of man you’d want to raise your son to be like.”
Although I fit the stereotype of meeting my person in college, no one should feel the pressure to settle for anyone less than the person who’s the summation of their dreams. Find the one who lights your fire and keeps it alight when you can’t find it within yourself. The person who adds to all that you are, whilst taking nothing away. Someone for whom you can do the same.
I’ve been incredibly lucky to find a person who reflects my values, accepts my flaws and seeks to change nothing. He saw the perfectly crafted facade of neatness and composure I had created over the years to hide the cracks in the porcelain. If you sell a lie for so long, eventually you begin believing it. I buried my life in busyness and called it happiness. Yet he gently wiped away the pretense with every day we spent together. Until a year later, he saw me as nothing more than myself; someone I surely haven’t been in awhile.
The trust and honesty it takes to allow someone to see the vulnerabilities and imperfections in life is the hidden blessing of love.
Like I said, I’m lucky to have found him. But I think more likely, we are lucky to have found each other. As he likes to put it, “Your crazy matches my crazy.” But from my perspective, he looks like a lifeboat after a long day and a cold winter morning when the calm falls over your soul. I was enough before, but now I am complete.
So as we grow and change, I look forward to moving towards a little less me and a lot more we. And that’s the most genuine New Year’s resolution I could ever set for myself.
