I used to cosplay. There, I said it. I feel no shame about it and I only stopped because I couldn’t afford to make any other cosplays and the atmosphere surrounding my best and only cosplay was quickly deteriorating into one that I didn’t even feel comfortable in anymore. Why wouldn’t I feel comfortable cosplaying a certain character anymore, you might ask? Well, the answer is a bit complicated.

I used to cosplay Jack Frost from "Rise of the Guardians." I fell in love with the animation and storyline in the movie and couldn’t help myself from looking up other people’s versions, various tutorials, and ways to make my own cosplay unique. I bought a blue hoodie and sparkly fabric paint, as well as brown fabric and multiple pairs of brown suede pants. Once all of my supplies were bought, I set out to create two different versions of my first actual cosplay.

When a local convention for my area finally rolled around, I was ready. I had my wig cut and shaped to my liking, staff painted and ready to go, and flip flops on so I could slip them off with ease when someone wanted a picture (Jack was always barefoot after all). However, I hit a few snags when I saw other Rise of the Guardians cosplayers. To summarize these experiences:

• I excitedly said “Hi!” to another "Rise of the Guardians" cosplayer, only to be stared at and ignored.
• I met a Pitch Black cosplayer (who is the enemy of Jack Frost, as well as the other Guardians) and attempted to start a conversation with them, to which they were not having it. They “stayed in character” the entire time, and never spoke to me, instead choosing to glare hatefully. I can understand doing this for interactions in front of fans or for pictures. But once the photo has been taken and the fans are gone and you continue to treat me like an enemy in favor of actually having a conversation -- it is not okay.
• I was in the same area as an Elsa cosplayer when an excited fan of “Jelsa” (Jack and Elsa) approached and asked politely for a picture. The Elsa cosplayer yelled at them because they didn’t like Jelsa and stormed away without another word, leaving me to apologize for them and have a picture taken of myself instead of the both of us. The fan and I were both a little appalled at this behavior, to say the least.
• I hosted a panel with my friends about "Rise of the Guardians" where we were all dressed up as different characters, only to have someone attending the panel stand up and make fun of my glasses that were on the table (I’m legally blind and I was wearing colored contacts that are non-prescription -- I took them off for the sake of the pictures and the panel but would wear them when I walked around).
• Not only that- another asked if my staff lit up and when I replied that it did not, they said I wasn’t the real Jack Frost because theirs did. Then they proceeded to turn on their own light-up staff and sit down.

I wore this cosplay for almost two years, wearing it to at least three different conventions in the course of that time. Granted, I’ve had my nice moments where people just wanted a hug and a picture. Seeing little kids’ reactions was always a great time. But the other experiences I had with fellow cosplayers was just too much for me to handle. I always went to conventions hoping to see others who loved "Rise of the Guardians" just as much as I did so that we could talk about it or take pictures. And I did meet a couple of people who did exactly that. But there were so many more who saw it as a competition and wanted to tear down others. It was discouraging, to say the least.

What I’m really getting at here is that you have certain obligations as a cosplayer to fans of all kinds. I’m not saying that they can boss you around or take pictures without your permission or touch you without asking (all of these are definitely not okay). But you have to been willing to talk to other fans. You have to be willing to admire each other’s cosplays because you both put effort into it. You have to respect other people’s opinions and put yours aside so they can have a good experience with the fandom.

I’ve been in marching band for years and I know that when I put on that uniform I’m part of something much bigger than myself. The same goes for when I put on a cosplay. I’m a part of something that reaches far beyond myself and I’m okay with that. I want to be a good representation for something I love. I want to be a good cosplayer and be willing to embrace other people who love the fandom just as much as I do. But it’s nearly impossible when most of the other people in the fandom that I’m around at a convention don’t feel the same.

In short, respect your fellow cosplayers and treat them like you would want to be treated. It’s supposed to be a fun way to meet other fans and possibly make friends because of it. I wouldn’t want anyone to miss out on how great cosplaying can be and I don’t want them to avoid it because of similar issues I faced.

Just have fun with it.