53 Thoughts You Have Sitting Through A College Zoom Lecture
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Student Life

53 Thoughts Of A Quarantined College Kid Sitting Through A 90-Minute Zoom Lecture

To be honest, could it really get any worse?

Constance Woodard
Mar 27, 2020
University of Kentucky
2305
53 Thoughts Of A Quarantined College Kid Sitting Through A 90-Minute Zoom Lecture
Alison Van Dam / YouTube

Due to the rapid spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19) across the nation, just about every university in America has closed its campus and rushed all of its students to distance learning.

Now the professors who don't even know how to turn off auto-play on YouTube are suddenly tech-savvy and going to teach us all through Zoom.

So while we all sit back in our parents' house and watch our professors scramble to teach us something, our tuition is practically going down the drain — along with our motivation to even attend these Zoom lectures.

If you're like the rest of us and being forced to sit through this, here are 53 thoughts you'll have the entire time.

1. Why are we doing this?

2. I have never seen any of these people in class.

3. So... who's going to tell the professor he isn't sharing his screen?

4. The professors really should've just given us all an A.

5. OK whose dog is BARKING???

6. Y'all really need to learn to mute your mics.

7.. The fact that class participation is still a part of my grade is BS

8. Wait, what are we even talking about?

9. You think the professor is going to call me out if I just start eating?

10. Oh great, of course the kid who always comments after the professor is STILL going to comment on Zoom...

11. ... and can they ever say something intelligent?

12. Do they really expect us to sit here and pay attention for a whole hour and thirty minutes?

13. Would anyone notice if I just took a picture of myself with my webcam, printed it out, and set it up in front of the screen?

14. OK maybe I should actually pay attention.

15. I guess I did kind of pay for this so I should still get my money's worth.

16. The fact that they aren't giving us at least a half refund is BS

17. Awww, look at their puppy!

18. I've got to put this on Snap!

19. Highlight of my life right there.

20. Should I sign up for OKZoomer?

21. I wonder if that really works.

22. Wait, should I sign up for "Love is Blind?"

23. OMG the application is 48 questions long?!

24. Well, it's not like I have anything better to do?

25. STOP. YOU NEED TO FOCUS.

26. I wonder how many of my classmates are in the Zoom Memes Facebook Group?

27. Oh crap. What they take pictures and put us all IN the group?

28. Shoot. Let me open it and make sure they didn't already.

29. *20 minutes later* OK, we're safe for now! 

30. Shoot, I just wasted 20 minutes just looking at Zoom memes and everyone saw it. 

31. At least now there's only 45 minutes left! 

32. Geez, there's still 45 minutes left?!

33. UGH, I'm starving.

34. I'm going to make a sandwich, I don't care anymore.

35. *15 minutes later* OK, maybe I should actually pay some attention now. 

36. At least now there's only 30 minutes left.

37. I REALLY hope the professor is recording this lecture so I can just watch later.

38. Better yet, someone better post their notes in the GroupMe after this.

39. I wonder what college was like before GroupMe?!

40. That's a world I don't want to live in.

41. *Looks at everyone else's pictures* Wow, no one is paying attention. 

42. At least it's not just me. 

43. Why is my roommate FaceTiming me right now?!

44. UGH, I miss my roommate.

45. People who are quarantined with their roommate and not their family really have won this battle.

46. UGH, I miss college. 

47. OK, can we hurry this up?! I need to take my third nap of the day!

48. Why is he still talking?

49. Oh thank gosh I think they're done. 

50. Nope just kidding, they're not.

51. If I end early will they really know?

52. STOP, I have to be an adult and sit through all of this!

53. YAY! Just kidding they're done! 

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