Corn tortillas are perfect for those times when you are extremely poor and need a bunch of something - whether you're at college and on a tight budget, or you've moved to New York to do comedy and are severely under-employed because you thought you'd magically land a full time job in a reasonable amount of time and you were mistaken. Very mistaken.
You can buy corn tortillas at most grocery stores, corner delis, Latino stores, and probably at gas stations. Because they are super cheap and come in packages of a million (roughly), these tortillas last a really long time. They will be your savior in this time of belt-tightening. These versatile little food-carrying vessels of joy will be the trusty superhero for your every pathetic meal.
(This cartoon is probably the best thing I've ever created since moving to New York.)
Corn tortillas can be a perfect cheap substitute for bread, pasta, and rice, and what's more - they're gluten free! It's also a healthy way to wrap up any spare food around the house, which is good practice for the day when you will have to wrap up your comedy career.
Here is a recipe list of food abominations that I've made with corn tortillas! The following recipes meet only the bare minimum requirements to count as food- you can go crazy using corn tortillas to make an array of fancy tacos when you have enough money to make rent.
Ham and Cheese "Sandwich"
Ingredients:
Ham
Cheese slices
Corn tortillas
- Place slice of ham and slice of cheese on two corn tortillas.
- Microwave them under a wet paper towel for 30 seconds, or until the cheese has melted. This will ensure that the tortillas are soft and moist and not crumbly and weird.
- Eat by hand while walking to the train, where you will slyly enter through the gate instead of swiping into the turnstile, thereby catching a free ride. Score.
Breakfast "Burrito"
Ingredients:
Leftover veggies (like onion, tomato, and spinach)
Egg
Oil (or butter) for sautéing
Corn tortillas
- Sauté the leftover veggies in a pan.
- Crack an egg into the pan and scramble it with the veggies.
- Microwave those corn tortillas with the wet paper towel. You can alternately fry them up, but if you're strapped for time, go for the microwave. Don't be a hero.
- Scoop hot veggie scramble onto freshly microwaved corn tortillas.
- Wrap the tortillas like they're little burritos.
- Fall into a gentle food coma.
Leftover Quinoa "Pizza"
Ingredients:
Provolone cheese (You can use whatever cheese you want, I just haven't been able to settle for sliced plastic-y cheese. But I know my day is coming.)
Jarred pasta sauce
Leftover quinoa that you made in a rice cooker the other day
Corn tortillas
- Place a slice of cheese onto a corn tortilla.
- Spoon pasta sauce on top of the cheese.
- Spread leftover quinoa onto the pasta sauce.
- Top with another corn tortilla.
- Microwave with our friend, wet paper towel.
- Eat with fork an knife, like it's real food.
A Mashed Up Vegan Patty with Cheese and Pasta Sauce
Ingredients:
Provolone cheese again
Jarred pasta sauce again
Frozen vegan patty that your roommate bought and forgot about
Corn tortillas
- Microwave the vegan patty per its packaged instructions.
- Place slices of provolone cheese on two corn tortillas. This step makes this recipe not actually vegan.
- Cut vegan patty in half and place a half on each tortilla, mashing them as if they were all your doubts and fears.
- Microwave under wet paper towel.
- Fold them like little tacos, enjoy, and repeat for days until your roommate starts to notice his lack of vegan patties.
There you have it! These recipes are sure to be edible, or at least tide you over until your next paycheck!
