How to cope with the death of a loved one

Coping With A Loss

It's only impossible if you say it is.

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Think back to that night. That night when you went to bed, woke up the next morning, went to work, and were expecting to see your girlfriend later that day. Imagine checking your phone after work to 10 unread text messages from her friend telling you that your girlfriend committed suicide. At such a young age, she had a bright future ahead of her and big voids in hearts still have not been filled.

There is no worse pain and repercussions of a loved one passing away is a torture that scars everyone. When it first happens, thought such as, "Will I survive?""My life will never be the same again," and "I can't live without her/him" swim through their minds. As difficult as it may be to believe, you can live with it and there are ways to move on from it. Let's explore how.

As you may predict, the first stage of coping and grief is the shock stage. This is when the death occurs and you cannot absorb and realize what has just happened. While it may seem like a bad thing, it is actually a good thing. The feeling of being numb allows the person to distinguish important decisions and actions. This is because your brain still expects the person who passed away to still be there, you begin to deny the fact they're gone. For example, sending them a text and waiting for a response or knocking on their door and expecting them to answer. The reality begins to set that they're gone.

This leads to facing grief. Here's why this is healthy and good for you. Storing negative emotions and keeping this to yourself is very unhealthy. It messes with your emotions and mindset, you begin to withdraw from people you care about and develop depression later on. You HAVE to tell someone about it. Allow whatever emotions you feel to show without others judging you. If you feel like crying, do it. If you're happy and need a good laugh, laugh until you're blue in the face.

Do whatever you need to do to get your mind off the death. Do activities you like to do, make a daily journal and record how you're feeling day by day, and accept any kind of help. There is nothing more therapeutic than talking. Talk to people that you love and that you can trust about the situation and they will for sure give you comfort. You're in a fragile state and the people you love and trust are there to help.

The next step is to carry out the memories. In this stage, you remember the person and never forget the times you spent with them. As you learn to let go, memories are created that you take with the rest of your life. The element of healing comes into effect and the person has a special place in your heart.

So now, you learn to accept it and move on. How? Well, it's now the past. There's no going back. It's up to you whether you live in pain or choose to heal. Help and healing are there, it is possible, but it's only possible if you make it possible. Living in pain and clinging to the wall you can't overcome is very unhealthy and it leaves you with no time to recover. Yes, losing a loved one is very depressing and difficult to live with, but there comes a time where you realize that you have their blessing to live on. They would not want you to suffer the same fate as they did.

Live your life, God bless, let them sleep in peace, and take good care of yourself. I know you can.

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Kids Are Growing Up Too Quickly, And It's A Serious Problem

Jojo Siwa and Bhad Bhabie are the SAME AGE. Enough said.

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Today's children are finding themselves having midlife-crisis at the mere age of 12. With pressures from social media and an ever-present culture that asks children to put their most attractive foot forward, childhood is a diminished time period that is replaced with shaky adolescence. With the innocence and delicacy of youth slipping away from the fingertips of today's kids, we find that childhood itself is near extinction.

You see, children are being encouraged into independence much younger than necessary. They are expected to provide for themselves and form their own opinions and emotions much earlier than what is healthy for them in the long run. This rush all stems, however, from parental pressure, the media's influence, and the shame the modern world puts on dependency. Beginning with parental pressures, parents pack maturity into kids' heads by signing us up for technique-intense soccer camps, hiring reading tutors for kindergartners, and composing preschool applications as soon as they find out they are pregnant.

Parents strip away the sense of security and youth these children should have by constantly providing them a view of the future.

Beyond this, the emergence of social media as a common form of validation forces children to believe that the only way for them to receive any form of validation is to act in the manner of their role models and other celebrities. These celebrities, generally much older than the children who idolize them, become the framework for what children wish to become. It stands as an open gateway for girls and boys to venture into adulthood, without the necessary barrier of childhood.

Aside from parental pressure and the media, the modern world places shame on dependency for young kids. In our modern world, we see a toxic combination of marketing, media, and peer pressure pushing for independence. Whether it be a show, where a young boy goes out on his own and travels the world, or a friend, who is advising you that footie pajamas are too babyish. This deadly mixture places humiliation on young kids, constructing an even more secure barrier against dependency, an important component for development.

The effects of this push are outstandingly tragic and numerous. On a large scale, depression and other related factors have been found to be an effect to "hurried-child syndrome". In smaller, but just as serious terms, identity crises of our youth have been deemed an effect of this issue.

In the essence of dark matter, propelling the youth into their adolescence before they are ready has given leeway to drug and alcohol abuse, sexual fears, stress-related illnesses, burnout, and increasingly, suicide. Childhood is an age of innocence, to learn about the world with a lighthearted filter, and to experience life with naivety. It's important to our development, and without it, the misplaced life experience can be converted into poor life decisions and even worse views.

Amongst depression and it's related and devastating relations, we see identity crises uncovering themselves in the youngsters that shouldn't have a care in the world. The kids feel neglected and unparented. They mourn the loss of childhood and experience what looks like a midlife crisis in their mere teens. They feel empty in their adolescence.

The solutions themselves, however, are much simpler than one would expect. In order to allow kids to not feel succumbed to "hurried-child syndrome" society must simply pronounce dependence and disintegrate the stigma of growth. So allow me to tuck you in with a bedtime story, of soluble hope.

Begin by pronouncing dependence: Dependency is not something to be ashamed of. Instead, it should be protected. It is normal to need help every now and then because that is how we as humans learn and adapt to the world around us. Encourage inquisition and safeguard curiosity, because these acts of dependence are what allow us to grow into strong individuals in the future.

Amongst this, we can disintegrate the stigma of growth. Rather than deciding that children should be focusing on their future career path when they are a simple child, live in the moment. Childhood is quick, and if we continue to shorten it, a time that should be savored, won't be evident enough to leave a mark. We can stop stripping away youth by informing ourselves on children's developmental needs, recognizing what constitutes "quality childcare," and understanding that there is a danger to the consumerist screen-based lifestyle we live.

Perhaps I'm bitter that most children know how to dress better than I do, or maybe I'm just angry that not every kid had a "Justice" phase. Beyond my bitterness, the idea of a rushed childhood is something that should be considered and something that should be changed. Whether it be with your little sister, your baby cousin, or the kids you babysit, every single person can play a role in changing the modern culture of childhood into one that benefits and secures the innocence of childhood for what it should be. Because after all, kids should be kids.

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