Coping With A Loss

Coping With A Loss

It's only impossible if you say it is.

46
views

Think back to that night. That night when you went to bed, woke up the next morning, went to work, and were expecting to see your girlfriend later that day. Imagine checking your phone after work to 10 unread text messages from her friend telling you that your girlfriend committed suicide. At such a young age, she had a bright future ahead of her and big voids in hearts still have not been filled.

There is no worse pain and repercussions of a loved one passing away is a torture that scars everyone. When it first happens, thought such as, "Will I survive?""My life will never be the same again," and "I can't live without her/him" swim through their minds. As difficult as it may be to believe, you can live with it and there are ways to move on from it. Let's explore how.

As you may predict, the first stage of coping and grief is the shock stage. This is when the death occurs and you cannot absorb and realize what has just happened. While it may seem like a bad thing, it is actually a good thing. The feeling of being numb allows the person to distinguish important decisions and actions. This is because your brain still expects the person who passed away to still be there, you begin to deny the fact they're gone. For example, sending them a text and waiting for a response or knocking on their door and expecting them to answer. The reality begins to set that they're gone.

This leads to facing grief. Here's why this is healthy and good for you. Storing negative emotions and keeping this to yourself is very unhealthy. It messes with your emotions and mindset, you begin to withdraw from people you care about and develop depression later on. You HAVE to tell someone about it. Allow whatever emotions you feel to show without others judging you. If you feel like crying, do it. If you're happy and need a good laugh, laugh until you're blue in the face.

Do whatever you need to do to get your mind off the death. Do activities you like to do, make a daily journal and record how you're feeling day by day, and accept any kind of help. There is nothing more therapeutic than talking. Talk to people that you love and that you can trust about the situation and they will for sure give you comfort. You're in a fragile state and the people you love and trust are there to help.

The next step is to carry out the memories. In this stage, you remember the person and never forget the times you spent with them. As you learn to let go, memories are created that you take with the rest of your life. The element of healing comes into effect and the person has a special place in your heart.

So now, you learn to accept it and move on. How? Well, it's now the past. There's no going back. It's up to you whether you live in pain or choose to heal. Help and healing are there, it is possible, but it's only possible if you make it possible. Living in pain and clinging to the wall you can't overcome is very unhealthy and it leaves you with no time to recover. Yes, losing a loved one is very depressing and difficult to live with, but there comes a time where you realize that you have their blessing to live on. They would not want you to suffer the same fate as they did.

Live your life, God bless, let them sleep in peace, and take good care of yourself. I know you can.

Popular Right Now

I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

25050
views

Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

There's A Lot More Grace To Finding Your Purpose Than You Realize So Stop Stressing

God's grace is so much bigger than anything you could have ever imagined, so don't worry you'll get there.

5
views

On my morning commute, I laughed because the sky was purple and I was instantly reminded of GCU and "Find Your Purpose."

Of course, I'm a full year into my post-grad and have yet to find it so instead of joy I felt terror. Instead of joy, I felt bitter.

But being in LA traffic, it gives you time to sit and let all the thoughts and feelings settle in.

The purple horizon was ahead of me and it wasn't going anywhere. Just like God's call for our life isn't going anywhere. Just like our purpose isn't going anywhere.

I think Grand Canyon's slogan can be a little misleading. You're not expected to find your purpose right away. We're all focused on how fast we get somewhere. We're so focused on how fast we find our purpose that we lose sight that it wasn't about speed. It's about velocity. Velocity is speed, but with direction and that's more important Instead of finding your purpose at GCU, you're given direction toward that purpose.

And as long as you continue in that direction, you will find your purpose. Not because you tried hard enough, but by His grace, God's purpose for your life will find you.

But by the grace of God, I am what I am, and his grace was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them - yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.
1 Corinthians 15:10

God's purpose for Paul found him on the road to Damascus and if you know about Paul, you know he wasn't on the way to do good things but God had other plans for him. It was nothing Paul did, but it was by the grace of God that he was called to be an apostle.

You can be pulled into any direction and be walking on your own path, but God's call is much more powerful than our stubbornness. And while he ultimately gives us the choice, His call is still very present and we will find it


Amanda Holt


That does not mean that it's not a lot of work.

Are you kidding me?

Of course, it's a whole lot of work. You can't expect it to just fall into your lap while you're sitting on your couch watching Netflix. It's just not going to happen. Even Paul was heading somewhere. So wherever you're headed and however hard it may seem, keep going.

You're going to get stuck in traffic that'll make you want to tear your hair out. You might take a few wrong turns along the way or even get into a few accidents because like I said, it's a lot of work!

The purple horizon is there. Keep moving forward in the direction God has pointed you in and you will find your purpose.

Related Content

Facebook Comments