Death is not something many people like to discuss, but it happens every single day. I will admit I do not even like to think about it. It makes me very uncomfortable to think about losing people close to me or even thinking about myself dying.

This world is a terrible place, but there are so many great things about life, itself. I love my family, and I can not even imagine losing some of them.

However, I have lost some people very close to me and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about them.

The first one that had a huge impact on me was my grandad, John. He was my Grammy's ex-husband, but we kept in contact anyway. We would always visit him and talk for hours after church on Sundays.

He never missed a birthday or any holiday; there was always a card in the mail for me.

I regret not being more appreciative of that.

He cared about me so much, and I rarely took the time to thank him.

That is the thing about death, it often comes with a lot of regrets. I remember when my mom told me about him being in the hospital, and I just lost it.

Then, a day later, my Grammy came over to tell us that he had passed, and I just remember being so angry at everything.

I was angry at myself for not being around more.

I was angry with him not telling us he was sick.

I was just angry at everyone and everything.

I love him so much, and it hurts me every single day that I cannot go over to see him. I would have liked him to be around for all of these milestones that have passed or are coming up because he always expressed how proud of me he was.

I hope he is still proud.

The next death that really impacted me was my grandpa. I did not know him for as long as I would have liked to because he was my step dad's, stepdad.

Even though we never used "step" because we are all so close, blood-related or not. There was so much love from him towards everyone.

He loved my grandma with all of his being, and he treated her so well. My heart hurts for her every day because I know she misses him so much.

I could never imagine losing a husband, it is hard enough losing a grandpa.

I remember the spring they came down from Ohio before I "graduated" eighth grade. Everything was perfect; he was completely healthy.

Before they went back home we made plans for them to come back for my birthday in August and also for them to see my youngest brother after he was born.

He was also set to be the best man at my parent's wedding.

It seemed like not even a month later he became sick.

He was then diagnosed with Leukemia, and it all went down hill from there. My parents kind of kept me in the dark to keep me from being upset.

I remember one day I went to the bank with my mom, and she told me that he probably would not make it past that day. I was in complete denial and chose to ignore it.

I should have seen it coming when my Grammy came over, as you can see that is a common theme.

When she broke the news to me I did not feel anger, just sadness. Cancer is a horrible thing, and I cannot wait until a cure is found.

I love him so much, and I would kill to have one more day with him.

Grandma, if you are reading this I am sure he is watching over you and loving you just as much as he always has.

For anyone struggling to get over the loss of a loved one, you are definitely not alone. It is okay to miss them and grieve in any way that you want to.

I miss all of you, and I think about you every day.