In today’s society, it is uncool, and “crazy” to care. To be bothered or annoyed with something. To share your feelings. There is such a fine line these days between being you and sharing how you feel and being the overbearing crazy girlfriend or soon-to-be ex-girlfriend.

Now, I’m writing this opinion from a heterosexual, monogamous viewpoint. Obviously there are many other types of relationships and dynamics to relationships that this character trope of the “cool girlfriend” does not apply to. Or maybe it does. Regardless, it isn’t worth it.

Why?

Because in the end, the cool girl doesn’t win, because she isn’t really you. If you genuinely don’t care that your boyfriend goes out and gets drunk every night with his friends instead of hanging out with you more than once a week, then good for you! I commend you on your independence and sheer apathy regarding your relationship, I really do.

I wish I could care less. But that just isn’t me, and that isn’t all girls. I don’t want to say that isn’t most girls because that’s a generalization and I don’t like those. But if I had to hypothesize, I would say that more girls care than don’t.

I’m not saying breathing down your significant other’s neck is okay; space is a good thing for both parties in a relationship. Don’t pick every fight over every little thing, and choose your battles. However, if something hurts you, or bothers you, voice your opinion! “Not caring” when you do actually care is just bottling things up. And that isn’t good for anyone.

For those of you who saw "Gone Girl," or read the book, the “Cool Girl” monologue is one that resonated with me. I mean, yeah, Amy is totally nuts, and I don’t condone anything she did, but I understand the pressure of being the cool girlfriend. It was enough to make her go nuts, so don’t let it happen to you.

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size two, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

Guys think this cool girl exists, but really, I doubt that she does. And guys, don’t put pressure her to be that cool girl. Chances are, she’s not. Chances are, she’s pretending or trying to be and in a few months she’ll crack and you’ll think she’s crazy, but really it's just a build up of hiding her real self under all that “cool” and apathy. Chances are, she’s insecure and worried that you don’t like her as much as she likes you. Suppressed feelings are bound to come out at some point, and if it’s meant to be, she’ll be “cool” in her own way to you.