I am here to tell you quite a saddening truth. There is no such thing as playing the wife role sweet friend. I have heard this statement a lot recently and I utterly disagree with it. I also am here to say that I disagree with the concept that singleness in the Lord and dating are mutually exclusive. They also are not.

Wifey status/ Wife Role: The idea that the qualities a woman possesses such as cleaning, cook, having a gentle spirit, quiet mouth and gives you physical pleasure when you want it qualifies her to be a wife and of the equivalent of a wife according to society.

How about hell no. Excuse my harsh opinion, but ladies and gentleman hear me out. Just because you live with someone and keep up your house that the two of you live in does not make you by definition wife material or stepping into the wifey things well. There is no such thing. A wife is a woman who the Lord has inter-knitted her soul with her husband as she lives her life devoted to him, praying, loving, serving and encouraging him as his helpmate in the world. Occasionally a wife will find herself in submissive roles in the home as a way to encourage her husband as a leader of their home but that does not mean cleaning, cooking, and being quiet when a fella is wrong makes her wife material. Trust me dear one, your are a wife when you stand at the alter and allow God to unite you as one with the man whom your soul loves, not any time before then; regardless how pretty your ring or fancy or home or beautiful your outfits.

With that being said, singleness is not a status that means you are not dating or in a relationship. Singleness is a position of the heart in relation to God being the most high and everyone else including your fiance or boyfriend coming second to none. Singleness is knowing that your soul is independent of everyone else and you alone are responsible for the well being of your soul. Marriage is the only time that God views your heart differently and then it is viewed as one with your husband. There is no in between. You may date, talk, flirt or be in a serious relationship but at the end of the day your heart is devoted to the Lord in singleness until the day of your wedding and not a day sooner, learn to thrive in that but oh dear one do not walk about as if you do not need practice in heterosexual relationships. Engagement and marriage will not turn you into the perfect relater, you need those bad dates, rough seasons and breakups at times to become the woman in the Lord (or Man of God) that you were created to be. Go on that date and thrive in singleness. Be in a relationship and thrive in singleness. Be truly single with your heart set on none, and still choose to thrive.