There’s this quote somewhere on the internet that says, "Your first thought about something is what you were taught, while your second thought is what you have decided for yourself.” Growing up in a small, Midwestern town has its pros and cons, but nobody truly understands them unless they themselves know what it’s like to live with the same 32 kids for their first 12 years of education or have their idea of a romantic walk be through a cow field instead of down a long beach.

Having always lived this life, it’s no surprise that I was taught conservative Christianity, just like everyone else I knew before turning 18 years old. You may know what I’m talking about. Going to church, not just on holidays or even just Sundays, but also on Sunday evenings and Wednesdays. Not to mention the week of church camp every summer and the foregone conclusion that once you reach a certain age, you will help with the younger ones during Sunday school.

Then there’s the home life of it. My parents always taught me to have my own mind and to educate myself on the things that I am passionate about, never fearing an intense discussion or debate. However, what happens when you grow up having certain convictions instilled in you until the day you leave for college?

For me, going to a liberal arts college turned everything I thought I believed on its head. For the first time in my life, I was faced with homosexuality, atheism, people who openly discussed desires and those who had been taught to fight just as fiercely for their beliefs as I was, simply from the opposing side.

I found myself questioning everything. Did I actually believe homosexuality was wrong, even after now having close friends who didn’t seem sinful? Was I actually a God-fearing Christian because I believed in Him, or was that just the only option I had ever known?

For two years, I grew with my new friends, who never felt offended by my ignorance. At school, I had the freedom to decide for myself what I thought was true and right. Even when I went home, my parents were never the type to discourage finding my own way. If anything, being able to intensely discuss with them why they believed helped me to figure out what I believed.

My father, in particular, has always been very right wing. You know you’re an adult when you can sit in your tiny living room with a man you’ve always thought you knew and get to know him all over again from the perspective of an equal, instead of a child.

Now, after countless debates, borderline fights and midnight talks with multiple people, all with a wide range of different backgrounds, thoughts and convictions, I have begun to figure out what I think about most things in life.

However, we are always growing, and if there’s one thing you should never be ashamed of, it’s deciding for yourself. Keep a mind of your own and do not be afraid to open yourself to another’s perspective.