Chances are, if you're a sexually active, straight woman in the 21st Century, you've probably noticed a whole list of double standards when it comes to sex. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like these standards and straight-up sexist things are going away any time soon. (And, our Feminist Foremothers are most likely rolling in their graves at our lack of progress in this area.)
But, the silver lining of this rampantly sexist and sometimes misogynistic cloud is that it's now becoming more socially acceptable to call out the bullshit. More and more women are starting to realize all the systemic bullshit that our mothers and grandmothers were forced to put up with.
With that being said, I wanted to make a list of 10 consequences that girls face after sex that boys don't have to think about. My hope is that one day these things won't be as bad as what they are, or that maybe, some of these consequences will fade away into yesteryear. (Here's hoping!)
1. Pregnancy
So, this one is most likely the obvious first choice, but this consequence often leads to the sexist and age-old conservative bullshit idea, "if you don't want a baby, you should keep your legs closed." I'm sorry, but the last time I checked, it takes both an egg and sperm for a woman to get pregnant. So, sorry guys, but you're so totally not getting away scot-free in this blame game. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango.
2. Purity, purity, purity
This one goes along with the bullshit line of "keep your legs closed," but to a greater extent. Somehow all the way back in yesteryear, some men somewhere thought that a woman's worth would be, and should be, tied to her virginity. (Because ya know, your flower should stay pure as snow until you marry your husband.) Thank God that this consequence is one that is slowly starting to die off.
3. The walk of shame
I'm pretty sure that most of us are familiar with P!nk's hit with that same title, but the premise of that song holds true for the actual consequence for some women. It really sucks worse than a vacuum cleaner that women are still being shamed for having a good night out or a one-night stand. While women are shamed relentlessly for this, men are patted on the back. It's ridiculous and needs to stop.
4. Have we been drugged, assaulted, etc.?
So, this one is of the more serious side, but it's a question that has been asked by panicked women for quite some time. What this has to do with sex is pretty simple: consent. It should be clear and present that no one can give consent to any kind of sexual activity when he/she/they are under the influence. But, by and large, more women have to worry about being drugged or assaulted as a sexual consequence than men do. (I'm also not discounting the number of men that have to deal with this. Women have just been at a statistically higher rate to experience this.)
5. STDs and their stigma
Now, this is a topic that both guys and girls have to deal with, but I've seen the stigma play out very differently for girls than what it has for guys. We all know the "don't sleep with her dude, she's got…" rumor that's flown around the junior high/high school in our own hometowns, but that's a classic case of this awfully sexist stigma. (And, it's probably worth mentioning that STDs have to come from somewhere.) So, even if a girl happens to contract an STD, more often than not, she is labeled as "the dirty one," or "the nasty one," instead of her male counterpart. This is absolute bullshit and needs to change.
6. Are we on "The Pill?"
So, this one is not necessarily super sexist or awful, but the social stigma here is still one that is worth mentioning. Most guys will ask you outright if you're on the pill, and there's nothing wrong with that. But, I personally believe that the whole contraceptive issue should be approached from an equality standpoint. (After all, it is the meeting of the egg and the sperm that causes a woman to get pregnant.) So, it shouldn't be solely the girl's responsibility to make sure that Operation: Baby doesn't happen.
7. Are we on our periods? (Because, ya know, blood is gross and stuff.)
This is another one of those stigmas that should totally stick to yesteryear. With that being said though, I can understand why some guys prefer not to give oral sex when their girl is on her period, but by and large, penetrative sex while on your period shouldn't be considered as "so gross and disgusting." (It actually helps with some of the cramping, FYI.)
8. Feelings and emotions tied to sex make us "clingy."
Because apparently, a woman's emotional response system is clearly in her lady parts.
9. The f*** buddy scenario
Most girls face harsher criticism for being a part of this kind of relationship than guys ever do.
10. To fake...or not to fake?
Personally, faking an orgasm is a consequence of sex that I've known/had friends tell me about. The social stigma around "well, I don't want to make him feel bad" has got to stop. (Ladies, our pleasure matters just as much as his.)
I could go on and on, but these are the ten biggest and most common consequences that girls face after sex that boys don't even think about. Granted, some of these things obviously can't fade into yesteryear, but some of these sexist consequences definitely should.
