Consent, sexual or not, is a mutual understanding held between two people. It is needed every time you engage in intimate acts, sexual or not. However, the concept of consent can, in fact, be sexy. Who doesn’t want to know that their partner cares about their well-being?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines consent as giving permission for something to happen. Giving consent is agreeing to what is being asked of you in an intimate situation by your partner. It allows for a mutual understanding.

Consent is always necessary. That being said, it does not have to come with such a negative connotation. Meaning, that people tend to think of consent in terms of when it is not given. Such as, when there is too much alcohol, pressure, or drugs involved. To give consent, one must be fully cognizant. This means, those previously mentioned substances will lessen or completely ruin a person’s ability to give consent.

Looking past all of the negative things that occur when consent cannot be given, we glimpse the really beautiful things that occur when consent is given. Consent IS sexy. It demonstrates care for your partner’s state of being, thus establishing a tighter bond or connection. It does this by opening up the lines of communication between you and your partner, creating a much safer environment.

Three steps to having a thoughtful, consensual relationship are: becoming aware, developing understanding, and practicing consent.

Becoming Aware

Becoming aware of the concept of consent is necessary because it is a basic concept. Once the light bulb goes off that people have a right to say no, you are off to step two.

Develop Understanding

Consent is a very easy concept that everyone can understand, but simply needs to put more effort into carrying out. A big step in the right direction is understanding your partner. Know that they have wants and needs as well. However, sometimes they may not be in the same "mood" as you, and that is OK.

Practice Consent

To establish this sense of emotional stability in a relationship, all you have to do is ask. Ask if your partner is okay. Ask if they are happy. Ask if there is anything they would like to change. Simply, ask.

Consent is a basic and necessary thing, but that does not mean it cannot be sexy. It implores people to reach outside of themselves and accommodate the needs of others. Practicing consent is practicing love, and love and kindness never go out of style.