Consent is not "no".
If I say no, I mean it. Don't touch me.
My clothes are not consent.
The garments with which I choose to cover myself are in no way affiliated with your permissions to touch me.
Consent isn't me issuing you a challenge.
If I've made it clear that I don't want you to touch me, I am not asking you to convince me otherwise. I am not challenging you to get me to change my mind.
Consent isn't an "I'm not sure".
I'm not asking you to prove your skills to me. Don't try to force a "yes" out of me.
It's not consent if you lie to me.
Don't manipulate me. If I'm not in a state in which I can give consent, don't trick me into thinking it's okay. If you mislead me into thinking you're a good person with good intentions, you are not truly getting my consent.
It's not consent if I stay silent.
Just because I'm not saying "no" doesn't mean I want you to touch me. Just because I'm not fighting back doesn't mean I want you to touch me. Just because I'm asleep or under the influence of any substance doesn't mean you're allowed to touch me because you think I'll never find out.
Consent is not given through means of intimidation.
Do not scare me into letting you touch me. Threats, be they verbal or physical, may force a "yes" out of me, or at the very least, I'll freeze. Coerced consent is not proper consent. Do not try to blackmail me. Do not use my sexual orientation or gender identity to shame me or attack me. Do not use your position of authority or social status to take advantage of me. Do not try to guilt trip me.
Consent is not my immobility.
Maybe I'm physically impaired and I cannot stop you. Maybe I'm dissociating so hard that I can't feel anything anymore. Maybe I'm petrified. If I'm not moving, don't touch me.
Refusing to give consent is not just me playing hard to get.
I don't want you to try to take me by force. Unless we've discussed a forceful scenario and established safe words, you are not to touch me.
Consent isn't automatically bestowed just because we've done it before.
We could be dating. We could be friends with benefits. We could be married. None of that matters. Consent must be given every time.
Consent doesn't mean "get me drunk".
If you feel that you have to get me intoxicated to try to get me to let you touch me, are you sure that it's worth the effort? A drunk person cannot give consent.
It's not consent if I change my mind.
Yeah, I might be into it one minute and totally out of the mood the next minute. When I announce I don't want to continue, I draw a line. You are to respect that line.
Consent is an enthusiastic affirmation.
A happy "yes"! Maybe some laughter! Smiles and sounds and fun!
Consent is active participation.
Reciprocation is important! Unless you've got some prior arrangement, both parties are likely to be very involved!
Consent is informed.
Make sure you let your partner know exactly what you'd like to get out of the experience. Clear up confusions and make sure there isn't any misleading going on! If you want to try something you aren't sure your partner will like, run it by them first to see if they're cool with experimenting, and if not, talk about why they might not want to do it! Don't coerce them or guilt them, but do let them know that you just want to make them feel good!
Consent is given more than once in an encounter.
Don't forget to ask when moving on to the next part of the tumble! Making sure that your partner is okay and happy at each step of the way can be fun!
Consent is important!
You want everyone to have a good time, right? You're not trying to take advantage of someone to assert power over them, right? You're not trying to scar someone for life, right? You're not trying to ruin someone else's life as well as your own, right? For everyone's sake, remember to ask for your partner's consent!
